Sometimes, we just have to look down...

When we first knew about Adibah, that she is a special child with a special syndrome that until today is still under investigation and is still unknown, we were blur, speechless....its been a week that both of us were in deep silence.

But then, enough of this silence and blur thing, we need to move on very fast as we need to fix Adibah's heart or she has the chance of dying due to pneumonia. The blood vessel at the heart is with hole and thus blood goes to the lung which then can contaminated the lungs, and she will suffer for pneumonia.

I just can't wait. I wanted the operation to be done soonest possible. I am just too worried that I may lost her and our target at that time, is just to fix the heart and save her...

But still, I guessed we were preety tough, Alhamdullilah for all the strength that He has given us.

However, continuing life with the fact that your child is very different from a normal child, is not something easy. There is one time, an officemate delivered a healthy, normal baby girl. Everyone in the office pay her a visit, but I did not. And it was just because at that time, it just hurt my feelings very much seeing other people having a normal child.

And then the people closest to us also having healthy normal child, came Dania, Danish...all beautiful, healthy normal babies. Not that I wished that they had a child like mine...no its not that...I just hope that Adibah is also as beautiful, normal, healthy like them....and later that I realised, am I still not able to accept the fact that Adibah is a special one? That I had a child with a really rare syndrome that makes her not able to grow at the speed of a normal baby, not able to hear, to see??

It hurts me, because I look up.....when I looked down, I met Gilbert, a ten years old child, feeding through a tube, not able to move anywhere on his own. I met a few friends that to me are much less fortunate than I am. These friends, also have a special child and at the same time, they are poor. They don't have enough money to give their child, his/her special needs.

Hah....I am so grateful.....Adibah may not be able to see, to hear, but she can still smile. She can still move - in her own style. We still have enough money, to buy the best things for her....and with this, am I still not grateful???

And after I had Adibah, I can feel that I am different person. I changed a lot. I appreciate life more, I am so motivated to continue living, doing the best for her and for other child like her. By the way, how can I'd be not motivated when Adibah, a deaf-blind, is so highly-motivated to continue on living even though the world is not for her. She continued learning, even though her learning pace is very very very slow.

So, sometimes, we need to look down and have a very high faith in Allah SAW. For everything that he gave us, are the best.....