Poligami??

Di penghujung zaman ini, wanita semakin ramai. Adakah poligami merupakan jalan penyelesaiannya? Betapa hebatnya Allah SAW…….

Aku sering kali tertanya-tanya, mengapa begitu sukar untuk wanita menerima poligami. Ianya sesuatu yang telah dicipta hukumnya oleh Allah SAW, tetapi mengapa begitu ramai yang menentang, yang sukar menerima, yang telah memberi amaran kepada suami-suami mereka untuk tidak berpoligami malah menyebut tentang poligami pun tidak dibenarkan.

Aku juga seorang wanita. Dan aku juga sering berfikir, sekiranya ujian ini menimpaku, adakah aku boleh menerimanya? Redha dengan pemberian Ilahi? Suatu malam aku telah bermimpi yang suamiku datang bertemu denganku bersama seorang wanita. Suamiku menyatakan hasratnya untuk berkahwin lagi. Melihat suamiku memegang tangan wanita itu telah membuat aku hilang kata-kata dan mengeluarkan air mata. Hancur luluh hatiku hanya kerana melihat suamiku memegang tangan wanita itu. Bagaimana pula nanti sekiranya mereka berkahwin? Aku menangis semahunya dan merasakan dadaku sesak sehingga aku terjaga dalam keadaan masih menangis. Fikirku patutlah, ramai wanita tidak rela dimadu…..

Namun aku berfikir lagi……adakah layak untuk aku tidak membenarkan suamiku berpoligami hanya kerana memenangkan rasa cemburuku? Hanya kerana aku tidak merelakan wanita lain memegang suamiku, bermanja dengan suamiku, berkongsi kasih dengan suamiku?

Aku masih berpijak di bumi nyata. Aku bukan sahaja seorang isteri, ibu, anak, tetapi aku juga seorang teman, seorang sahabat kepada rakan-rakanku. Aku mempunyai ramai teman wanita yang masih tidak mendirikan rumahtangga. Kebanyakan rakan wanitaku ini berkerjaya, sudah memiliki rumah dan kereta sendiri, cuma tiada suami. Mengapa mereka tidak berkahwin? Begitu sukar untuk mencari lelaki bujang yang berkelayakan menjadi suami? Memang benarpun, sudahlah spesies lelaki makin menyusut, yang ada pulak ramai dah masuk pusat serenti dan yang selebihnya memilih untuk jadi mak nyah pula…Maka tidak hairanlah kalau bilangan lelaki bujang yang berkelayakan semakin berkurangan. Menurut teman-temanku lagi, kalau suami orang, ramai yang boleh dibuat calon…dan ramai yang ingin memperisterikan teman-temanku ini terdiri dari suami orang. Namun benar juga, sukar untuk menerima lamaran mereka sekiranya isteri-isteri mereka tidak membenarkan.

Dan lazimnya memang isteri mereka tidak membenarkan dengan alasan bimbang suami mereka tidak dapat berlaku adil dan bimbang hak-hak mereka akan dirampas. Betul juga alasan ini kerana kebanyakan suami yang ingin berpoligami kini, hanya kerana menunaikan tuntutan nafsu, tanggungjawab dan sebagainya diletakkan di senarai terakhir. Maklumlah, bak pepatah orang puteh “Love is blind”. Inilah yang mencemarkan nama poligami. Dan apabila wanita menolak poligami, janganlah hanya wanita yang dipersalahkan.

Bercakap mengenai hak-hak isteri, bagaimana pula hak-hak wanita bujang zaman ini? Adakah kita menafikan hak mereka? Jika mereka ingin mempunyai keluarga sendiri, anak sendiri, ingin memenuhi naluri mereka sebagai seorang manusia, ingin merasakan betapa indahnya mengandungkan anak sendiri………bagaimana? Sekiranya lelaki yang bujang dan berkelayakan telah semakin kurang bilangannya berbanding wanita bujang dan lelaki berkelayakan dan sudah berkahwin pula tidak dibenarkan berkahwin lagi….adakah kita akan menyuruh teman kita yang belum berkahwin, sudah bergelar andartu untuk menerima takdir mereka seadanya yang mereka akan membujang sepanjang hayat? Atau apabila mereka terjerumus ke lembah maksiat kita akan berkata yang itu bukan masalah kita. Memang mudah untuk berkata-kata. Aku pernah mendengar kata-kata seorang teman, kesunyian itu juga satu kemiskinan.

Jika aku meletakkan diri aku di tempat seorang isteri yang akan menghadapi poligami, aku tentu akan bimbang adakah aku mampu untuk menerima seorang wanita lain untuk berkongsi kasih dengan suamiku? Berkongsi katil dengan suamiku? Adakah suamiku akan masih menyayangiku? Adakah suamiku akan masih mengasihi anak-anakku?

Jika aku meletakkan diriku di tempat seorang wanita yang telah mempunyai segala-galanya melainkan suami, aku tentu inginkan belaian kasih sayang seorang suami, aku tentu inginkan sebuah keluarga, aku tentu ingin bergelar seorang ibu. Dan aku tentu berasa sunyi apabila pulang ke rumah yang kosong setelah pulang dari tempat kerja…..

Hanya Allah SAW juga yang lebih mengetahui, setiap sesuatu yang terjadi pasti ada hikmahnya. Setiap sesuatu yang telah Dia tentukan pasti yang terbaik untuk hambaNya.

Sekiranya, tiba masa, suamiku terpilih olehNya untuk menjalankan poligami, aku berharap agar aku akan diberi kekuatan untuk menghadapinya. Aku berharap agar aku akan dapat menyokong suamiku untuk melaksanakan tanggungjawabnya. Aku berharap agar aku akan sentiasa sedar yang cinta nombor satu hanyalah cinta pada Allah SAW. Bukan sahaja untuk menghadapi poligami malah untuk mengharungi setiap saat dalam kehidupan ini. Kerana aku hanyalah hambaNYa yang lemah, hina lagi tidak berdaya.

AYu

Its my birthday!!!

Today is my birthday! So, today I am going to share on something that I always like to talk about……big dreams.

Do you have big dreams? Or you often have nightmare until you forgot to dream? Or you don’t dare to dream. Dreams are free so you can have the biggest dream, the wildest dream, the mission-impossible-dream and the whatever-you-like dreams, of course anything that you want.

The facts are
1) Dreams are free
2) You can dream of anything you want
3) Nobody can limit your dream other than yourself
4) Like the internet, dream has no limits too

So, knowing all these facts, why are we so afraid to dreams…..are we scared that we may not be able to achieve our dream? Well, another fact is that, if you have big dreams but no action taken to reach the dream, don’t worry…..your dream will remain a dream. It will not come true. If its come true, it is simply because you’re the lucky one. But you have to remember that the percentage of being lucky is very thin. So, chances are, you are not the lucky one, so your dream will remain a dream. This is what the malay saying “angan-angan mat jenin”. Only dreams…..

However, if you have dreams, you actually already on Step 1 of being an enthusiastic, positive, high motivation, brave, successful person. Because you dare to dream. Often when a person has big dreams and they are smart, they shall put a ladder on to achieve that dream. Like what Frankly covey said in 7 habit, habit # 2, begin with the end in mind. You shall have to put what you have in mind (in your dreams into a blue print). Why did he said blue print and not drawing or writing or painting? Its blue print because it must be very detail and precise.

Blue prints are normally used for a plan of a building or a machine. So, it must very details and precise, or else you will never get to build the building or the get the machine to perform its function. So, as dreams. If you did not translated your dreams into a blue print, there are high possibilities that you are still not able to see your dreams clearly, you are not sure of what you really want. Therefore, you will not achieve it. Of course, when the targets are not clear, how are you going to throw the darts?

Okay, so everybody clear? Step 2 is to put the dreams into a blue print. I am also still did not have that blue print ……..and the more pathetic thing is, I kept wondering every day, why my dreams remain dreams…haiya…....

Dreams, hope, will get you to go through life will full of spirit, happier, high motivation, positive. So don’t stop dreaming. But of course la….don’t get lost in your dream until you’re not stepping in the real world.

For my birthday, one of my dreams is that my husband will come to wish me a Happy Birthday, with a good-delicious-birthday cake and the present is a fully-furnished-bungalow with modern style interior design, at a very strategic area….ahahaha…..I love dreaming :)

All the best!! See you at step 3 :)

AYu

Sometimes, we just have to look down...

When we first knew about Adibah, that she is a special child with a special syndrome that until today is still under investigation and is still unknown, we were blur, speechless....its been a week that both of us were in deep silence.

But then, enough of this silence and blur thing, we need to move on very fast as we need to fix Adibah's heart or she has the chance of dying due to pneumonia. The blood vessel at the heart is with hole and thus blood goes to the lung which then can contaminated the lungs, and she will suffer for pneumonia.

I just can't wait. I wanted the operation to be done soonest possible. I am just too worried that I may lost her and our target at that time, is just to fix the heart and save her...

But still, I guessed we were preety tough, Alhamdullilah for all the strength that He has given us.

However, continuing life with the fact that your child is very different from a normal child, is not something easy. There is one time, an officemate delivered a healthy, normal baby girl. Everyone in the office pay her a visit, but I did not. And it was just because at that time, it just hurt my feelings very much seeing other people having a normal child.

And then the people closest to us also having healthy normal child, came Dania, Danish...all beautiful, healthy normal babies. Not that I wished that they had a child like mine...no its not that...I just hope that Adibah is also as beautiful, normal, healthy like them....and later that I realised, am I still not able to accept the fact that Adibah is a special one? That I had a child with a really rare syndrome that makes her not able to grow at the speed of a normal baby, not able to hear, to see??

It hurts me, because I look up.....when I looked down, I met Gilbert, a ten years old child, feeding through a tube, not able to move anywhere on his own. I met a few friends that to me are much less fortunate than I am. These friends, also have a special child and at the same time, they are poor. They don't have enough money to give their child, his/her special needs.

Hah....I am so grateful.....Adibah may not be able to see, to hear, but she can still smile. She can still move - in her own style. We still have enough money, to buy the best things for her....and with this, am I still not grateful???

And after I had Adibah, I can feel that I am different person. I changed a lot. I appreciate life more, I am so motivated to continue living, doing the best for her and for other child like her. By the way, how can I'd be not motivated when Adibah, a deaf-blind, is so highly-motivated to continue on living even though the world is not for her. She continued learning, even though her learning pace is very very very slow.

So, sometimes, we need to look down and have a very high faith in Allah SAW. For everything that he gave us, are the best.....