I’ve aim to be excellent in anything that I do. Excellent and no compromise – the highest, the best. Of course, when you’ve aimed, go to the maximum, the very maximum. So, do I. I am convinced and determined that the goal, the aim to be on the excellence path was achievable, not mission impossible. My motivation level was full, like the new- and- just-pumped-with-air-balloon. Full of spirit and energy, like the atoms at the most outside layer of the molecules, couldn’t wait any longer to flew, dancing, jumping, mingling with other molecules. The excitement was exploding, enormous, extravaganza. It’s like, I’m a dancer and I couldn’t keep my feet to stand still as it can’t wait to get on the dance floor.
But then.......it struck me right in the face, what should I dance?
Shall I tango?
Shall I tip toe?
Shall I ballet?
Shall I salsa?
OMG! I have lost the gist. It’s like I have a sweet dream, but I don’t fall asleep. I have an alluring slice of pecan butterscotch, but I don’t have appetite. I have a red Ferrari 458 Italia, but I don’t drive......
How pathetic.....I have everything except for the thing that I want-enjoy-love-to-do.......I want to be good, but I don’t know, in what, that I want to be good. I’m not sure whether this thought of mine is kind of confusing or amusing.
Hmmmm.......am I complicated or complication is part of me?
Since I am clueless, I’ve review the chronology....
In school, I was selected to attend to science classes, science stream because of the earlier examination results, so I followed and I was okay.
After school, I got engineering and science course offered, I took science. The decision was much influenced by my parents that really want me to go the university that offered the science course, chemistry to be precise. So, I obeyed and I was doing pretty well. I guessed, it was very much driven by the condition of my family. I grew up in the environment that make ones, think that life will be like hell without money. You have this-kind-of-thought that you shall have no friends, no one unless you have money. You need to earn money as much as you need to earn respect.
Therefore, with all these thoughts in mind, I need to get good grades, hence, obtain good job, earn good money and live life the way I want it to be. Thus..... I’ve been there. I’ve got what I’ve aimed for. Only little that I know, that, as a result, I have become a slave instead of a master to myself.
Am I working for money or the money working for me? It is satisfying, fulfilling to earn money and to lose everything else?
Can I get both, money and satisfaction? Can I amused the physical needs and the soul needs simultaneously?
I have a dream that I am spending my life doing the thing that I love most and at the same time, earn money, earn respect, fulfilling my responsibility as a muslim, as a citizen. Or even sweet and pleasurable, to be able to do the thing that I love most and money is not a factor. Meaning, I have a funder for the activities or I am a millionaire that earn passive income and hence my active life can be channel to the thing that I love most.
Hah....may my dreams came true........And I may continue searching, looking for the thing that I love most, to do, to enjoy, to love and to contribute most..... By the time my super fast jet ready, I shall knew the destination to fly :)
I Believe I Can Fly - R Kelly
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms
If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it
[Chorus:]
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh
If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it
AYu
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Muhammad Afiq Md Ashraf
Often, very often in this blog, I wrote about my daughter, Nurul Adibah. Very seldom or may be none, I write something on Muhammad Afiq, my beloved son. I have read an article that says something like this “to those parents who had a special child, don’t neglect your normal child because very often all the parents’ attentions goes to the special child...”
It’s very true. Sometimes you were just too busy taking care of the special one and forgot that...oh mine....there’s another one, peeping at the door, wanting to say something and having the impression like….hey mama, I’m your child too…..Afiq sacrificed a lot too…especially for the first 2 years after Adibah was born, because Adibah is always sick and have to be admitted to the hospital. And whenever she’s in, I’m staying too, of course….sometimes for almost 2 weeks. And Afiq kept calling and asked the same question, when will we be back...I think he already get used to it…I hope he does. I hope he understood the whole situation, even though he is just a kid.....
Afiq, my beloved son, is kind of a slow, sentimental person. When he was younger, me and my husband were so worried on whether his brain was kind of slow too…. He is just a kid, but it seems like his taking some time to think first before he does something. Kids don’t think much especially boys. Their level of maturity development is slower than girls. They just do whatever they like. But Afiq is totally different.
There are times when he refused to play outside. I was thinking that may be this circumstance appeared because he wanted to get deep into the play station. But I was wrong. He then explained that he dislike the way of our neighbors treated the children. I was aware of this situation, these kind-of-neighbors but was unaware that it affected Afiq’s action. There’s an uncle that often yelled to the kids, yelling the negative words...I do not wish to explain further....He is old and should be a good behavior model, or at least just be nice and saying positive, good things, but unfortunately, he is not...And there’s one aunty that are too defensive of her grandchild. She like forcing the neighborhood kids to play with his grandchildren, or else, she will scold them. She did not try to understand of why the kids did not want to play with her grandchild...and hence, Afiq made a decision to not play outside.
And when Afiq is about 5 years, he complained that there’s a kid that always like to punch him. So, I was saying, then why don’t you punched him back (I was not sure on whether I was giving a correct advise but to me this is called self defense :)). And Afiq replied back, are you angry if someone hit me? Then I said, yes of course. Then, he said, so if he punch the boy and the boy’s parent saw it, they will be angry too isn’t? Hmmmm.... have to think first before saying anything.....then, I said “ you should told the boy’s parents that he punched you first"...
Simultaneously, I was thinking, is my child normal? Doesn’t seems like he is thinking too much before taking any action which is not so normal for a kid at 5 years old? I then draw a conclusion that my son is under the sentimental category and very attentive to his environment....hmmmmm
Other than that, like other kids, Afiq also did ask a lot of questions like how to produce babies? How do we get electricity? What is rape? Why the colours of human are different? He is referring to so-white-skin-people and so-black skin-people. Why there are many religions? And so many related and interrelated questions...
And because he is such a “hardworking” student, he also often asked on why he has to go to school and why schooling is 5 days and not-schooling is 2 days? You see....having kids are not that simple. It’s complicated actually...
The book on parenthood that I’ve read are right, when you explained to your child, explain to him the right, correct answer... the truth... Although they are just kids, do not underestimate them because they can understand it in their own way. Hence, when I explained to Afiq on Adibah’s condition, just one time of explanation, he can understood it and accepted it with no further question ask.
Looking at him, cuddling Adibah and kissing her and saying that she is so cute often light up my day. He loves her as much as we do…..
Recently, Afiq always asked on whether he is going to get another younger brother or sister. Then I replied, what if abah get marry with another woman and then have kids. So, automatically, Afiq will have younger brother and sister. Afiq then replied, but if this occurred, won’t you be sad? “Afiq tak nak mama sedih…”
Syukur Alhamdullilah.....I have a hero ;)
It’s very true. Sometimes you were just too busy taking care of the special one and forgot that...oh mine....there’s another one, peeping at the door, wanting to say something and having the impression like….hey mama, I’m your child too…..Afiq sacrificed a lot too…especially for the first 2 years after Adibah was born, because Adibah is always sick and have to be admitted to the hospital. And whenever she’s in, I’m staying too, of course….sometimes for almost 2 weeks. And Afiq kept calling and asked the same question, when will we be back...I think he already get used to it…I hope he does. I hope he understood the whole situation, even though he is just a kid.....
Afiq, my beloved son, is kind of a slow, sentimental person. When he was younger, me and my husband were so worried on whether his brain was kind of slow too…. He is just a kid, but it seems like his taking some time to think first before he does something. Kids don’t think much especially boys. Their level of maturity development is slower than girls. They just do whatever they like. But Afiq is totally different.
There are times when he refused to play outside. I was thinking that may be this circumstance appeared because he wanted to get deep into the play station. But I was wrong. He then explained that he dislike the way of our neighbors treated the children. I was aware of this situation, these kind-of-neighbors but was unaware that it affected Afiq’s action. There’s an uncle that often yelled to the kids, yelling the negative words...I do not wish to explain further....He is old and should be a good behavior model, or at least just be nice and saying positive, good things, but unfortunately, he is not...And there’s one aunty that are too defensive of her grandchild. She like forcing the neighborhood kids to play with his grandchildren, or else, she will scold them. She did not try to understand of why the kids did not want to play with her grandchild...and hence, Afiq made a decision to not play outside.
And when Afiq is about 5 years, he complained that there’s a kid that always like to punch him. So, I was saying, then why don’t you punched him back (I was not sure on whether I was giving a correct advise but to me this is called self defense :)). And Afiq replied back, are you angry if someone hit me? Then I said, yes of course. Then, he said, so if he punch the boy and the boy’s parent saw it, they will be angry too isn’t? Hmmmm.... have to think first before saying anything.....then, I said “ you should told the boy’s parents that he punched you first"...
Simultaneously, I was thinking, is my child normal? Doesn’t seems like he is thinking too much before taking any action which is not so normal for a kid at 5 years old? I then draw a conclusion that my son is under the sentimental category and very attentive to his environment....hmmmmm
Other than that, like other kids, Afiq also did ask a lot of questions like how to produce babies? How do we get electricity? What is rape? Why the colours of human are different? He is referring to so-white-skin-people and so-black skin-people. Why there are many religions? And so many related and interrelated questions...
And because he is such a “hardworking” student, he also often asked on why he has to go to school and why schooling is 5 days and not-schooling is 2 days? You see....having kids are not that simple. It’s complicated actually...
The book on parenthood that I’ve read are right, when you explained to your child, explain to him the right, correct answer... the truth... Although they are just kids, do not underestimate them because they can understand it in their own way. Hence, when I explained to Afiq on Adibah’s condition, just one time of explanation, he can understood it and accepted it with no further question ask.
Looking at him, cuddling Adibah and kissing her and saying that she is so cute often light up my day. He loves her as much as we do…..
Recently, Afiq always asked on whether he is going to get another younger brother or sister. Then I replied, what if abah get marry with another woman and then have kids. So, automatically, Afiq will have younger brother and sister. Afiq then replied, but if this occurred, won’t you be sad? “Afiq tak nak mama sedih…”
Syukur Alhamdullilah.....I have a hero ;)
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Nice guy finish last
A few years back, when I was in Japan for training, I met this one guy, one very shy quiet guy. I went there for training. We used to communicate through email before my visit to Japan. Because we are in the same department, when I was in Japan, he kind of having the obligation to entertain me.....so I have to follow him here and there in the company. For the fact, he is tall, in term of look = not so good looking, kind of a nerd, polite although not much words coming out from his mouth (since he did not talk much, this polite adjective is based on the way he treated you, in a very good-manner with respect), single and he has a nice car :) of course, Japan’s car is very nice....
One day, I have to go through an equipment training with him. Oh my god, it was so boring. Although he had tried his best to make sure I did not fall asleep....and I was yawning at the rate of twice per minute. I was doing that deliberately so that he stopped talking and the session ended quickly. However this body language, did not work, because he still continue to talk.....( I guessed he never use body language before.....)
I then looked at his face...I was stunned and amazed because I just realised that he, actually can talk. Since I met him, he only talked to me about 10 sentences a day. I thought that this was because of the language barrier. My interpretation is wrong.....
The way he talked about the machine illustrating his deep passion and enthusiasm towards that equipment as if he had slept with it. Asked him anything about that machine, he can explain to you from A to Z, inside and outside. He is so technically sound. As for me, only by mentioning the word equipment and technical, can frightened me. I then at that very specific moment discovered that I am certainly not in love with machines and all the related technical things on machines. I can understand it, but to love it, to sleep with it, talking to it.... that is just not me.
For example, a person like me, given a machine called car. I only know how to run this application so that it can move me from this dot to that dot. And the basic function on how to make it move, like refuelling. Other than that, I don’t know and I just don’t want to know ( I often get scolded by my sister for this......).
Okay, come back to that Japanese guy. Usually after work, we will go for dinner. After dinner, this guy will have the task to send me home. Thus, this is the moment when I was alone with him. Since he did not talk much, other that talking about machine, I was doing all the talking and questioning and he only answered. I asked him about his life, what he does after work and bla...bla..bla.....Trust me, you would never want to hear of his routine, it is so black and white until I wonder whether he is a man or machine....I seriously, honestly think, he should get more colours, he should get married.
Earlier that week, when we went and played bowling, I observed that there are many girls. So, there is no reason of not getting a girl because there are many. And this Japanese guy, don’t really talked to girls.....So, girls don’t talk to him too. As a result, there is not much conversation with the opposite sex. In addition to this, this Japanese guy, even after drinking wine can still control himself. He doesn’t go after girls even after he is drunk. Could he be not normal? That is out of question. The main point is that, he is in a very good controlled of himself, may be too good until he can’t seem to let loose of himself, he is very shy and may be with a little bit of low self esteem when it comes to girls. If he can master the girls like he master the equipment, he would certainly become a Casanova despite of his look. Girls don’t really go for looks only, this is a fact.
What I would like to express here is.......
Guys can’t be too shy. Guys should be the one to approach girls. Guys should be brave, strong, with high courage and of course fight for their love.
If a guy is interested with a girl, then he should start giving signals. Once the girl, giving a positive feedback, the guy should not wait any longer but straight away making an attempt to tackle the girl. I understood that when it comes to girls, guys used to have a skyrocket ego......But come on..... You can’t have babies with your ego. So, think wisely......
Giving a try to tackle a girl won’t make you a simpleton. Even if you are rejected, that simply means you are not reading the signals correctly or the girls did not give the correct signals....So what? It is not the end the world. Take it as a lesson and try again. That’s what we do, practice makes perfect. And come on, you are a guy, meaning, you can’t be too delicate and vulnerable. It does not fit the image of a normal-healthy-man.
Unfortunately, plus with a self-denial statement, a guy would say, I don’t need a woman. No woman, no cry......well, I don’t think I need to further elaborate this. We are designed by the Creator to have the tendency to fulfil our needs as human. So, why choose to go against the principle?? You’ll never win.....
Therefore, hurry up..... It is always not too late to learn and try.....come on guys, let’s get the ball rolling :)
AYu
One day, I have to go through an equipment training with him. Oh my god, it was so boring. Although he had tried his best to make sure I did not fall asleep....and I was yawning at the rate of twice per minute. I was doing that deliberately so that he stopped talking and the session ended quickly. However this body language, did not work, because he still continue to talk.....( I guessed he never use body language before.....)
I then looked at his face...I was stunned and amazed because I just realised that he, actually can talk. Since I met him, he only talked to me about 10 sentences a day. I thought that this was because of the language barrier. My interpretation is wrong.....
The way he talked about the machine illustrating his deep passion and enthusiasm towards that equipment as if he had slept with it. Asked him anything about that machine, he can explain to you from A to Z, inside and outside. He is so technically sound. As for me, only by mentioning the word equipment and technical, can frightened me. I then at that very specific moment discovered that I am certainly not in love with machines and all the related technical things on machines. I can understand it, but to love it, to sleep with it, talking to it.... that is just not me.
For example, a person like me, given a machine called car. I only know how to run this application so that it can move me from this dot to that dot. And the basic function on how to make it move, like refuelling. Other than that, I don’t know and I just don’t want to know ( I often get scolded by my sister for this......).
Okay, come back to that Japanese guy. Usually after work, we will go for dinner. After dinner, this guy will have the task to send me home. Thus, this is the moment when I was alone with him. Since he did not talk much, other that talking about machine, I was doing all the talking and questioning and he only answered. I asked him about his life, what he does after work and bla...bla..bla.....Trust me, you would never want to hear of his routine, it is so black and white until I wonder whether he is a man or machine....I seriously, honestly think, he should get more colours, he should get married.
Earlier that week, when we went and played bowling, I observed that there are many girls. So, there is no reason of not getting a girl because there are many. And this Japanese guy, don’t really talked to girls.....So, girls don’t talk to him too. As a result, there is not much conversation with the opposite sex. In addition to this, this Japanese guy, even after drinking wine can still control himself. He doesn’t go after girls even after he is drunk. Could he be not normal? That is out of question. The main point is that, he is in a very good controlled of himself, may be too good until he can’t seem to let loose of himself, he is very shy and may be with a little bit of low self esteem when it comes to girls. If he can master the girls like he master the equipment, he would certainly become a Casanova despite of his look. Girls don’t really go for looks only, this is a fact.
What I would like to express here is.......
Guys can’t be too shy. Guys should be the one to approach girls. Guys should be brave, strong, with high courage and of course fight for their love.
If a guy is interested with a girl, then he should start giving signals. Once the girl, giving a positive feedback, the guy should not wait any longer but straight away making an attempt to tackle the girl. I understood that when it comes to girls, guys used to have a skyrocket ego......But come on..... You can’t have babies with your ego. So, think wisely......
Giving a try to tackle a girl won’t make you a simpleton. Even if you are rejected, that simply means you are not reading the signals correctly or the girls did not give the correct signals....So what? It is not the end the world. Take it as a lesson and try again. That’s what we do, practice makes perfect. And come on, you are a guy, meaning, you can’t be too delicate and vulnerable. It does not fit the image of a normal-healthy-man.
Unfortunately, plus with a self-denial statement, a guy would say, I don’t need a woman. No woman, no cry......well, I don’t think I need to further elaborate this. We are designed by the Creator to have the tendency to fulfil our needs as human. So, why choose to go against the principle?? You’ll never win.....
Therefore, hurry up..... It is always not too late to learn and try.....come on guys, let’s get the ball rolling :)
AYu
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
For my lil sis......Happy Birthday!!
Dear lil sis,
First and foremost, Happy Birthday! If you asked me for my wish for you, I wished for all your wishes and dreams came true, millions and countless of happiness for you to share with your loved ones, all your sadness been washed away by the falling rain and of course, all your disappointments and despair gone, in a blink of eye.
On your birthday, it often reminds me of the years that had gone by, the moments that we shared, the people that we loved and lost. And thinking of these moments often made me sad and sorry for myself and for you. I am so sorry my lil sis for not being a good sister and very far away from being a wonderful sister. I, sometimes thought to myself, have I ever been a sister to you and fulfilling the function of a sister, performing my task and responsibility as a sister or at least being a friend to you.
I can’t even count with my fingers, of me being nice and good to you as a sister. All that I can remembered is seeing myself scolding and being angry with you. And I felt even worst as I remembered you of not even a moment, a minute, raising your voice towards me. All that I remembered was you with the image of respecting me and obeying me as a big sis.
I remembered a day during Hari Raya when mom made us baju kurung, green colour with black polka dot. I was so angry with mom for having you and me wearing the same baju kurung. I really hated it and threw my frustration towards you although at that moment, you were still very young..... You must have been thinking, what is wrong with me....I wonder too.....forgive me for being a cruel, heartless sister....you knew me, I was always so stubborn and aggressive....hmmmmm the typical me...
Then, time flies. You and I were teenagers. I was closer to my friends than you. There are many things that I don’t know or don’t even care about you. I was busy entertaining my life. The life that I always wanted, away from our difficult life. I get so carried away and I’m really sorry if in those days, you felt like you never exist in my life. I am sorry lil sis for being so selfish and let you carry the burden of our life alone. You and mom often shared many things and sometimes I did felt jealous when mom knew more than me about you but still being me, the one so independent, repulsive, rebellious and deciding my life as I want it to be without referring to you and mom, I just don’t care much and wanted so much to be free.
But still, despite of all those years, despite of all the things that I’ve done, you were always loyal to me. You were always there for me when I needed you. You were always the one volunteered to take care of me when I was in pain. You were always there for me. You were always the one that I can count on. Thinking of this made me felt so lucky, so thankful, so grateful that I have you as my sister.
And at the same time, often made me felt bad, ashamed of myself for being such as useless sister, always not being able to be with you when you were in pain, in sadness, alone. I was never a shoulder for you to cry on. I was never there for you.......
My lil sis,
For that.....
for all those moments that I was not being like a sister to you but more like a step sister....
for all those years of pain and burden of the family that you have had on your shoulder alone....
for all those tears that you quietly wept at night.....
I am truly sorry......
I can’t turn back time....
I can’t fix those years, those moment of sadness....
I can’t repair your broken heart....
I won’t be able to do all these.
All that I can say..... I am here now. I want to be your shoulder to cry one. I want to share your joy, your happiness, your sadness. I want to be a wonderful sister. Let’s cherish our life together, let’s make things happened and enjoy every moments......
My lil sis,
Again, happy birthday! And I am your birthday present, a sister that would like to devote herself, heart and soul to take care of her lil sis.....InsyaAllah....
AYu
First and foremost, Happy Birthday! If you asked me for my wish for you, I wished for all your wishes and dreams came true, millions and countless of happiness for you to share with your loved ones, all your sadness been washed away by the falling rain and of course, all your disappointments and despair gone, in a blink of eye.
On your birthday, it often reminds me of the years that had gone by, the moments that we shared, the people that we loved and lost. And thinking of these moments often made me sad and sorry for myself and for you. I am so sorry my lil sis for not being a good sister and very far away from being a wonderful sister. I, sometimes thought to myself, have I ever been a sister to you and fulfilling the function of a sister, performing my task and responsibility as a sister or at least being a friend to you.
I can’t even count with my fingers, of me being nice and good to you as a sister. All that I can remembered is seeing myself scolding and being angry with you. And I felt even worst as I remembered you of not even a moment, a minute, raising your voice towards me. All that I remembered was you with the image of respecting me and obeying me as a big sis.
I remembered a day during Hari Raya when mom made us baju kurung, green colour with black polka dot. I was so angry with mom for having you and me wearing the same baju kurung. I really hated it and threw my frustration towards you although at that moment, you were still very young..... You must have been thinking, what is wrong with me....I wonder too.....forgive me for being a cruel, heartless sister....you knew me, I was always so stubborn and aggressive....hmmmmm the typical me...
Then, time flies. You and I were teenagers. I was closer to my friends than you. There are many things that I don’t know or don’t even care about you. I was busy entertaining my life. The life that I always wanted, away from our difficult life. I get so carried away and I’m really sorry if in those days, you felt like you never exist in my life. I am sorry lil sis for being so selfish and let you carry the burden of our life alone. You and mom often shared many things and sometimes I did felt jealous when mom knew more than me about you but still being me, the one so independent, repulsive, rebellious and deciding my life as I want it to be without referring to you and mom, I just don’t care much and wanted so much to be free.
But still, despite of all those years, despite of all the things that I’ve done, you were always loyal to me. You were always there for me when I needed you. You were always the one volunteered to take care of me when I was in pain. You were always there for me. You were always the one that I can count on. Thinking of this made me felt so lucky, so thankful, so grateful that I have you as my sister.
And at the same time, often made me felt bad, ashamed of myself for being such as useless sister, always not being able to be with you when you were in pain, in sadness, alone. I was never a shoulder for you to cry on. I was never there for you.......
My lil sis,
For that.....
for all those moments that I was not being like a sister to you but more like a step sister....
for all those years of pain and burden of the family that you have had on your shoulder alone....
for all those tears that you quietly wept at night.....
I am truly sorry......
I can’t turn back time....
I can’t fix those years, those moment of sadness....
I can’t repair your broken heart....
I won’t be able to do all these.
All that I can say..... I am here now. I want to be your shoulder to cry one. I want to share your joy, your happiness, your sadness. I want to be a wonderful sister. Let’s cherish our life together, let’s make things happened and enjoy every moments......
My lil sis,
Again, happy birthday! And I am your birthday present, a sister that would like to devote herself, heart and soul to take care of her lil sis.....InsyaAllah....
AYu
Just take my heart
It's late at night and neither one of us is sleeping
I can't imagine living my life after you're gone
Wondering why so many questions have no answers
I keep on searching for the reason why we went wrong
Where is our yesterday
You and I could use it right now
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Here we are about to take the final step now
I just can't fool myself, I know there's no turing back
Face to face it's been endless conversation
But when the love is gone you're left with nothing but talk
I'd give my everything
If only I could turn you around
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Mr Big - Just take my heart
I can't imagine living my life after you're gone
Wondering why so many questions have no answers
I keep on searching for the reason why we went wrong
Where is our yesterday
You and I could use it right now
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Here we are about to take the final step now
I just can't fool myself, I know there's no turing back
Face to face it's been endless conversation
But when the love is gone you're left with nothing but talk
I'd give my everything
If only I could turn you around
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Mr Big - Just take my heart
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Developed and developing??
The last few days, I’ve spent it at the hospital with my husband, accompanying him. He got stone at the kidney. He was in Putrajaya when he felt the pain. Hearing about his pain and having sent to the hospital was enough to make me worried so much. Even though I knew that his friends were taking good care of him, I am still very worried and can’t wait to be with him.
Due to this stone thing, he had to undergo a minor operation. Again, I was worried. Will the operation be okay? What if anything bad happened during the operation and etc.
Hah.....this tiny test to us had made us worried so much. What about those in Japan? They are facing a much greater challenge than us. Hence, the ability of the Japanese to stay calm and relax in facing this disaster test is amazing. And yes, we have to admit, they are, the peoples of a developed country. Today, they proved that they are a developed country and so as the citizens, all developed and matured.
As you knew Japan too, is a country with high technology. Again, I admired them. Imagine their life is in a very high technology environment where all you need to do is to push a button and things will move. From house, to work place and even the toilet, with one button push or sometimes don’t even have to push any button, using sensors, things will be automatically done. Thus, then after having this kind of life, you were push to enter an environment without electricity and water, will you be able to remain calm? The Japanese did.
They have proved that they are able to still survive this kind of situation apart from their-so-called-pampered-life. Can you imagine if this disaster took place in Malaysia? Can you imagine how we react? Hmmmm.........that is why we are developing country and not developed country...
I am not sure on how the Japanese having this good attitude. Since they are not really religious, thus, I believed, that they are well-trained. The Japanese leaders’ had a perfect mould to mould the citizens into this good shape. I remembered when our ex PM, Mahathir was talking about Wawasan 2020, having citizens in our own mould. I believed, he was talking about having a developed citizen and not only developed country by 2020. Of course, how could we have a developed country without first having a developed citizen. In fact, we need a developed citizen first, prior to the developed country.
But looking at Malaysia’s current condition of development, I am not really sure whether we are moving the right way. Don’t really see the human development program or any educational method of developing the citizens into a developed-country- citizen being done. And I am not sure whether we have a mould? Do we know what we want to be? And are we moving towards Wawasan 2020, or with a new leader now, had Wawasan 2020 been banish? And here we are, 1 Malaysia. Or the leader now is just interested with educating the public on road traffic regulations by giving summons....thus, other than that, nothing else matter....
I can still see peoples throwing rubbish out of their car window, hence I believed we are far behind, to catch up with 2020. Shall we bid farewell to 2020 and come out with the new targets? Well, who actually cares about this? The government? The peoples? I won’t blame the Malaysian citizen if they don’t care.
I knew, Malaysians are busy coping with the increase of price of the mandatory life needs, such as food. In order to cope with the high living expenses, adults have to spend more time at work to gain extra money. Due to this, less time spend with family. Thus, leading to higher rate of broken-family-institution and hence, more abandoned children.
So, our next generation, will be mostly children from broken or half-broken-family. And with this, do we still talk about being a developed country?
Okay, I’ll stop writing now.....enough said neh....let’s stop complaining and do our part. We are all grown up and we knew what we have to do. So, people.....let’s move it.....we certainly don’t want a real tsunami to come to us and then only we learn a lesson, don’t we.....
AYu
Due to this stone thing, he had to undergo a minor operation. Again, I was worried. Will the operation be okay? What if anything bad happened during the operation and etc.
Hah.....this tiny test to us had made us worried so much. What about those in Japan? They are facing a much greater challenge than us. Hence, the ability of the Japanese to stay calm and relax in facing this disaster test is amazing. And yes, we have to admit, they are, the peoples of a developed country. Today, they proved that they are a developed country and so as the citizens, all developed and matured.
As you knew Japan too, is a country with high technology. Again, I admired them. Imagine their life is in a very high technology environment where all you need to do is to push a button and things will move. From house, to work place and even the toilet, with one button push or sometimes don’t even have to push any button, using sensors, things will be automatically done. Thus, then after having this kind of life, you were push to enter an environment without electricity and water, will you be able to remain calm? The Japanese did.
They have proved that they are able to still survive this kind of situation apart from their-so-called-pampered-life. Can you imagine if this disaster took place in Malaysia? Can you imagine how we react? Hmmmm.........that is why we are developing country and not developed country...
I am not sure on how the Japanese having this good attitude. Since they are not really religious, thus, I believed, that they are well-trained. The Japanese leaders’ had a perfect mould to mould the citizens into this good shape. I remembered when our ex PM, Mahathir was talking about Wawasan 2020, having citizens in our own mould. I believed, he was talking about having a developed citizen and not only developed country by 2020. Of course, how could we have a developed country without first having a developed citizen. In fact, we need a developed citizen first, prior to the developed country.
But looking at Malaysia’s current condition of development, I am not really sure whether we are moving the right way. Don’t really see the human development program or any educational method of developing the citizens into a developed-country- citizen being done. And I am not sure whether we have a mould? Do we know what we want to be? And are we moving towards Wawasan 2020, or with a new leader now, had Wawasan 2020 been banish? And here we are, 1 Malaysia. Or the leader now is just interested with educating the public on road traffic regulations by giving summons....thus, other than that, nothing else matter....
I can still see peoples throwing rubbish out of their car window, hence I believed we are far behind, to catch up with 2020. Shall we bid farewell to 2020 and come out with the new targets? Well, who actually cares about this? The government? The peoples? I won’t blame the Malaysian citizen if they don’t care.
I knew, Malaysians are busy coping with the increase of price of the mandatory life needs, such as food. In order to cope with the high living expenses, adults have to spend more time at work to gain extra money. Due to this, less time spend with family. Thus, leading to higher rate of broken-family-institution and hence, more abandoned children.
So, our next generation, will be mostly children from broken or half-broken-family. And with this, do we still talk about being a developed country?
Okay, I’ll stop writing now.....enough said neh....let’s stop complaining and do our part. We are all grown up and we knew what we have to do. So, people.....let’s move it.....we certainly don’t want a real tsunami to come to us and then only we learn a lesson, don’t we.....
AYu
Monday, March 7, 2011
A letter of complaint
After receiving the letter from Takaful Ikhlas Sdn Bhd, that Adibah's insurance application is rejected, I was so piss off. It's written in the letter that the application is rejected because of her health condition. I totally did not understand what this mean?
Are they referring to my child deaf-blindness? She is not eligible to obtain the medical card because of her deaf-blindness? What were they thinking? That they will facing a big loss because Adibah will regularly admitted to the hospital because of her deaf-blindness. I couldn't believed this is happening. She is having that deaf-blindness since born. It is a congenital defect, a god's gift. And I totally understood that congenital defects is not covered. I'm not that stupid. They can easily explained to me in a very simple manner.
But no, they did not. They straight away rejected her application. Thus, I wrote a letter of complaint and emailed it this morning. I can always keep quite and pretend this never happened and just go to other insurance service provider but it hurts me more. I am certain that what is done by this insurance company, is not a correct and is not the right thing. Especially when you are promoting an Insurance scheme under the name of Takaful, under the brand of Islam and then you refuse to assist a multiple disable kid and rejected her straight away with no further question ask? Hah.....this is so absurd....
From: RAHAYU BINTI RAZAK
Sent: Mon 3/7/2011 9:40 AM
To: ikhlascare@takaful-ikhlas.com.my
Subject: A letter of complaint
Salam.
My name is Rahayu Razak. The purpose of writing this email is to express my disapointment and hence request for action to be taken by Takaful Ikhlas Sdn Bhd.
Early this year, I applied for Takaful Insurance Coverage for my family, including my special child Nurul Adibah Md Ashraf. Last week, I received a letter dated 11 Feb 2011, received by my agent on 23 Feb 2011. The application for Nurul Adibah Md Ashraf (application number - HS1181081) is rejected with the reason written in the letter - Permohonan ditolak kerana keadaaan kesihatan peserta. I am so disapointted with this decision. And I do not understand why is the insurance application rejected because of my child health condition.
First
I wondered how do your company decide on my child's health condition without seeing the medical report. Together with the application, I only submitted Borang pendaftaran dan cadangan penempatan kanak-kanak keperluan khas (0-18 tahun). And in this form it is only stated that my child is having a profound hearing impairment and blind. In other words, my child is deaf-blind.
And the diagnose in the 2nd page written Learning Disorder with Visual impairment. There is no any phrase in the form describing my child's health condition.
Second
My child is currently 6 years old. Previously, I have no insurance issues on hospitalization because I and my family is covered under my company, a MNC in Kulim Hi-tech Park. The insurance under this MNC is Tokio Marine. As fas as I can remembered, Tokio Marine has no issues in providing insurance for my special child as they clearly informed me that congenital defect is not covered. Other than that, there is no problem. And yes, it is very true, whenever Adibah was admitted to Gleneagles Medical Center is Penang due to fever, Tokio Marine had never asked any question. It is fully covered.
However, I then changed job. I worked in SIRIM as a contract worker and thus, only me is covered under insurance and not my family. That is why I was looking for insurance coverage for my family.
And being a Muslim, I applied for Takaful Insurance as I strongly believed that it is my responsibility to support Takaful Insurance provider. However, having this result, I can't help feeling that my child, a orang kurang upaya being discriminate by a Takaful Insurance provider. That of course does not sounds good to the society.
Third
I applied for insurance for the whole family. Thus, when your company rejected my daughter's application, why I was not informed earlier, before you approved the other family members' application. Why do think that I am still interested with your company after such discrimination? Hence, I would like to cancel all the other insurance policy and get my money back. And along the process, me and my other family members should still be under your coverage.
Should the details that had been submitted to you on my child's condition is not sufficient for you to make decision on the application, why in the first place you did not come back to me and request for more informations. I have a medical report from Pakar Perunding Pediatrik in GH Penang saying that other than deaf-blind, my child does not have any other health issues or difficulties.
This situation is totally unacceptable and hence, as a customer please attend to my request, as stated above immediately.
Regards,
Rahayu
Are they referring to my child deaf-blindness? She is not eligible to obtain the medical card because of her deaf-blindness? What were they thinking? That they will facing a big loss because Adibah will regularly admitted to the hospital because of her deaf-blindness. I couldn't believed this is happening. She is having that deaf-blindness since born. It is a congenital defect, a god's gift. And I totally understood that congenital defects is not covered. I'm not that stupid. They can easily explained to me in a very simple manner.
But no, they did not. They straight away rejected her application. Thus, I wrote a letter of complaint and emailed it this morning. I can always keep quite and pretend this never happened and just go to other insurance service provider but it hurts me more. I am certain that what is done by this insurance company, is not a correct and is not the right thing. Especially when you are promoting an Insurance scheme under the name of Takaful, under the brand of Islam and then you refuse to assist a multiple disable kid and rejected her straight away with no further question ask? Hah.....this is so absurd....
From: RAHAYU BINTI RAZAK
Sent: Mon 3/7/2011 9:40 AM
To: ikhlascare@takaful-ikhlas.com.my
Subject: A letter of complaint
Salam.
My name is Rahayu Razak. The purpose of writing this email is to express my disapointment and hence request for action to be taken by Takaful Ikhlas Sdn Bhd.
Early this year, I applied for Takaful Insurance Coverage for my family, including my special child Nurul Adibah Md Ashraf. Last week, I received a letter dated 11 Feb 2011, received by my agent on 23 Feb 2011. The application for Nurul Adibah Md Ashraf (application number - HS1181081) is rejected with the reason written in the letter - Permohonan ditolak kerana keadaaan kesihatan peserta. I am so disapointted with this decision. And I do not understand why is the insurance application rejected because of my child health condition.
First
I wondered how do your company decide on my child's health condition without seeing the medical report. Together with the application, I only submitted Borang pendaftaran dan cadangan penempatan kanak-kanak keperluan khas (0-18 tahun). And in this form it is only stated that my child is having a profound hearing impairment and blind. In other words, my child is deaf-blind.
And the diagnose in the 2nd page written Learning Disorder with Visual impairment. There is no any phrase in the form describing my child's health condition.
Second
My child is currently 6 years old. Previously, I have no insurance issues on hospitalization because I and my family is covered under my company, a MNC in Kulim Hi-tech Park. The insurance under this MNC is Tokio Marine. As fas as I can remembered, Tokio Marine has no issues in providing insurance for my special child as they clearly informed me that congenital defect is not covered. Other than that, there is no problem. And yes, it is very true, whenever Adibah was admitted to Gleneagles Medical Center is Penang due to fever, Tokio Marine had never asked any question. It is fully covered.
However, I then changed job. I worked in SIRIM as a contract worker and thus, only me is covered under insurance and not my family. That is why I was looking for insurance coverage for my family.
And being a Muslim, I applied for Takaful Insurance as I strongly believed that it is my responsibility to support Takaful Insurance provider. However, having this result, I can't help feeling that my child, a orang kurang upaya being discriminate by a Takaful Insurance provider. That of course does not sounds good to the society.
Third
I applied for insurance for the whole family. Thus, when your company rejected my daughter's application, why I was not informed earlier, before you approved the other family members' application. Why do think that I am still interested with your company after such discrimination? Hence, I would like to cancel all the other insurance policy and get my money back. And along the process, me and my other family members should still be under your coverage.
Should the details that had been submitted to you on my child's condition is not sufficient for you to make decision on the application, why in the first place you did not come back to me and request for more informations. I have a medical report from Pakar Perunding Pediatrik in GH Penang saying that other than deaf-blind, my child does not have any other health issues or difficulties.
This situation is totally unacceptable and hence, as a customer please attend to my request, as stated above immediately.
Regards,
Rahayu
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