My new career

I've quit job, after almost 9 years and joined another company (for less than 2 month) and then quit again and now I am a full time housewife. The "full time" is really full. One thing I didn't know about this job is that it is a 24 hours job, 7 days a week, no annual leave, no emergency leave. Not that I did not realise it before this, but never thought that I'll be so busy and even more difficult to find time for myself. Hmmm....

For the first few month, I'm in this new career, I was so busy searching for other job because I was worried of that money matters. And to make it worst, everyone that I've meet told me that I should work and that a housewife title seems does not fit me well. And I believed what they said. I believed that I should not become a full time housewife. I'm a woman with high education, I'm doing good in my career, so how do I end up a home maker? A full time housewife? I really cannot tahan that almost everyone that I've met looked down on me and my new career. Or may be its me myself that looked down on me. No one can looked down on you, make you feel bad without your permission. So, I permitted them to make feel bad.

This new career is what I'm looking for all these years, but why am I not happy? Because I am worried about that money matters again. But I should be happy, this is my dream. I want to take care of my kids, I want to do everything with them, I want to be with them. And of course for Adibah, my special one. She needs me, very much.

Today I pick up Afiq from school. Once he entered the car, he looked back to Adibah. Kiss here and kiss her and kiss her. Yeah, I finally realise that Afiq is now closer to Adibah. He hugged her, played with her. So, as Adibah. She loved gomoi her abang. She giggles, loughes a lot when they played together. Before this, Afiq seldom got chance to play with her sister. Why? Because once I left home to office, Adibah will be gone too. I'll send her to the babysitter. I reached home at night and so as Adibah.

Looking at Afiq kissing Adibah, playing with her, listening to their lough, what else would I want?I am so happy. And if this new career can give me "these happiness", that money would not be able to buy, so be it.

I am glad and I have no regrets.

Ayu

Aug... already?

Its already Aug 2009. And Ramadhan is just around the corner. And again what have i done this year?? Its already Aug....still thinking and I think that I have wasted a lot of time on thinking what to do. Why am I taking so long to figure what to do...

Ehmmmm ilham tak mai lagi nih. Baik pi solat lah.....

To be continue...

Ayu

Arghhhh

It's already almost mid year of 2009. Hmm...where am I? What have I've done this year? There are a lot of changes with my life recently, so many changes until I think I can't adopt, can't manage these changes.

I wanted to change. But sometimes I just don't know where to start, how to start. Do a lot thinking and finally, I've decided and I'll let Him decide, what is best for me. Often you think, that you knew best what you want. And you step into it. And then you asked yourself again, is this really what you want?

And life is about making choices, but why are we so afraid to choose?

Regards,
Rahayu

Adibah

Setiap kali menatap wajahmu
Aku sayu
Aku gembira
Aku sayang padamu
Engkaulah kurniaan Tuhan yang terbaik untukku

Namun maafkan aku
kerana aku juga hanya manusia biasa
yang seringkali leka dan alpa

Tatkala dugaan melanda
Aku takut kehilanganmu
Aku tak mampu melihat kesakitanmu
Dan tika itu aku seringkali berharap
agar aku mampu mengundur waktu
mampu mengubah takdir

Namun akhirnya aku tersedar
Aku hanya hambaNya
dan kamu amanahNya untukku
yang teristimewa......

AYu

Sorry, not coming today??

Have you been a boss or you are a boss now? What are kind of boss are you? Well I have no intention to bring this further to the leadership things like whether you falls under the leaders category, or the dictator or just a superior and that sort of things....no ...not talking about that?

I would just like to talk about being a human boss...Or do you have this human element when you lead your role as a boss or you turn into a beast or monster when you become a boss or you are the understanding ones? Of course with or without you realising it...

I have been to that role to, a boss and a subordinate. When you received calls like, “Sorry can’t make it today, because my child is sick” or “My child is hospitalized so I would like to take a few days more to take care of the child”. And at that time, you have so many tasks to complete and deadlines are killing and these peoples are not coming.

Arghhh..... Have you been there? What is your response? Are these your response “Sorry you can’t take leave, if you didn’t come, you will get warning letter for absent from work without superior approval” or you just shout “Kalau tak datang berhenti je terus. Orang lain pun ada anak jugak takdela asyik ambil cuti je”..... Do you give such response?

I ‘m not going to elaborate further on how you should cope on your job with less resources but I would like to suggest that you accept the reasons, that you work in a high trust environment and that you trust your subordinate with that reasons. However, you can always ask your subordinate for evidence from the hospitals.

Because family are just too important to be ignore or to be put less priority compared to your job. Yes, you need money to feed your loves ones, but will it give any value if you lost them while searching for that money? Will it be worth it? So, if you were a boss, you better think twice before asking your subordinate to leave his/her sick child and come to work. Because if something bad happen.....do you want to be responsible? Can you live with that feeling of guilty? For me, I don’t want to.

Or may be you don’t feel anything, if something bad happen, well that’s fate so why blame you or why you should feel guilty. Well, if this is the case, let’s try this one. Imagine that you’re dying. Will you prefer to die alone and not having the chance to say goodbye or sorry to your love ones? And just waiting for your dying moment without anybody to talk to and just crying in pain alone? Or you prefer to be with your loves ones, to spend more time with them, to let them know how much you love and appreciate them? Which one?? Answer people??

And if were a subordinate, an employee, and you were in this difficult situation, struggling between work and attending a sick child or parents, if you have to choose.... Choose your loves one. Because your loves one has no replacement. And trust me, when you’re sick there is nothing else that you want more other than being with your loves one.

By the way, nobody ask or would want to a have a sick family members, isn’t?

Well, bosses, subordinates, employees, life is about making choices....
To choose may not be easy, so learn, think with heart and mind and don’t lost that common sense when you that make that choice :)

AYu

Big changes

I've been very busy lately and thus have abandoned this blog. And there are so many changes lately too. I have made the decision to quit my job and move....Well, until today, I still can't believed that I've made such decision. I couldn't believe that I've chosen these changes. I am a one person that are so scared of facing changes and now today here I am. And I have made that decision in a very short time frame. Thank you Allah saw for given me the strength and courage to find changes after so many years.

But has usual, as a mother, these changes affected my family too. I felt sorry for Afiq for he has to change school and has to start all over again with new friends, new school. But he is a tough one, my darling sweet heart.

Now for already 1month plus, I've been a full time housewife. My goodness, housewife is actually a very busy job. There are so many things to do. Luckily, my mom stayed with me and help with the house work or else.....

Now, we have to figure out on how to continue living in this new place in Selangor.....changes needs sacrifices...hah there are so many things to think about.

Till then. Let me do the thinking first.

Ayu