Big family

Last weekend, I've spent my time at a wedding of my husband's cousin. Yesterday, attending a funeral of my husband's grand uncle. After the funeral, we met my mother-in-law cousins at the bank. We were talking and asking and requiring more informations about each other life. I was glad and happy ...just because they knew me and were greetings me while hugging each other warmly. The feelings was great.

Then, I thought to myself.....I never had a big family before I got married to my husband. All I knew was my mom, my father, brother, my sister, an aunt and a grandmother. The aunt was my mother's younger sister and the grandmother was my mother's mom. For many years, after I was born....only these persons were those that I called a family. Yes, of course...there are others....in fact many others...but those who did not even come and visit, those who hate you because you don't have money, those who always pulled their faces and body away from you, those who said nasty words to your mother and make her cry....those are not family....with these definitions, only these few peoples are my family....

And yes, those whom you love often leaves you. My dear grandmother who often took me travelling with her by bus died due to lungs cancer. I still remembered how my mother had to take care of her in the last few months of her life. It was tough and difficult and very much needing you to be very patient. And I knew that my mother was able to do it because of her love to her mother. She was very quiet, never complaint although I can see that she's weeping at the corner of the kitchen sometimes. Looking at her dedication on this, making me, doubt myself on whether I could take care of my mother the way she took care of my grandmother...

Then after my grandmother. ..my mother had to take care of her sister, my aunt whose having ovary cancer. There are of course...tonnes of strong wills and positive minded required to take care of a cancer patient and more than that...the pain of seeing the person that you love in pain...struggling to survive....is indescribable....and you have to live with it and facing it to the end...it is heartbreaking.....the test of loosing the persons that you love is certainly tough....

And my mother had gone through these years of pain....I didn't knew how she did it...but if I felt very much of loosing these 2 peoples that we love, my mother would of couse felt much more worst than me...

And since there is no more of my aunt and my grandmother, so its left, the five of us...and this is the family that I knew....until I got married...it...of course...feels awkward when the numbers of your family increased from 5 to more than 70....may be for other peoples...this is normal but for me....who use to roam within the cirle of only 5 family members...this is weird...great...but certainly weird :)

Last weekend and yesterday....after the wedding and the funeral...I reaffirm myself...that I am a part of these beautifuls peoples that the number is too big to be counted and that they are called family and I am one of them....it feels great....

Thank you Allah for giving me the chance to be in these group of families...subhanaallah....I am so grateful :))

Tercipta untukku

Love the song...

we're in love today...we may not be in love tomorrow...
we're holding hand today...we may not see each other anymore tomorrow...


Tercipta untukku - Ungu feat Rossa

menatap indahnya senyuman di wajahmu
membuatku terdiam dan terpaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

banyak kata yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
kepada dirimu
aku ingin engkau selalu
hadir dan temani aku
di setiap langkah yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tahu
ku selalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu
sepanjang hidupku

sungguh hanyalah dirimu
yang aku cintai
dan sungguh ku kan di sisimu
hingga ku mati

Transform Transformers Transformation

Recently, I thought a lot on transformation. How to transform and why do we need transformation? Transformation means a complete change in someone or something.


I remembered being a leader in a transformation team. It is a small team, about 10 members from different departments in the company. As we all knew, is it not easy to lead people, and hence leading a transformation team is even more challenging because you want them to do it voluntarily because in the organization chart, you are not their boss, so how to get them to listen, not do yet…just listen. And of course, you can’t simply give order, you need to do more than that...you need to capture the heart, you need to inspire...I knew it was not an easy task...


However, when, I was first given the task, I am more excited than afraid to do it. I was so excited to take up the challenge and instantly become very busy, figuring how to perform the task and how to inspire my team to trust in my lead and move towards, transformation. Therefore, my first words to the group was that,


I strongly believe in the idea of this transformation and


I believed that we can make a different and


together we can improve this working environment and


hence, make it a fantastic, fun place that will resulted with us, coming to work with a smile and not a frown


I was not sure on whether these messages are well accepted by my team but seeing on how we committed ourselves to the projects, with all the teamwork, effort and happy faces, I believed we shared the mutual understanding on what we wanted to achieve, we believed that we can do it and we trust each other.


Of course there are parasites in the group. There are peoples, that when they came to the meetings, they shared the negative ions in the air...you can’t avoid this…..what you can do is, don’t let them talk, so that they can’t spread the negativity and simply ignore them. As parasites under the human skin...they will surely get the message.



Along the way of experiencing leadership and being with this group of people, I discovered that transformation is not so difficult and doable...although the results may took years...



Why? I wondered...Then, I came to the conclusion that it work because we believed in it. Thus, when I shared my inspiration, it works with my team members as well.
Hence, the number 1 element that you shall need to transform is, to believe in it. Once you believed in it, you will get the aura and when you inspire others, with the idea of transformation, it can be clearly seen in your way, in your words, in your action. Seeing your passion in what you believed will inspire others.


Therefore, any person, any company, any organization can transform and move towards excellence. All we need to do is to believe that we can do it and as Steven R. Covey used to said, to begin with the end mind. Clearly knew what we want and strongly believe that we can do it, and of course aligning heart, mind and effort in order to be consistent and persistence towards the goal...nothing can stop you from transformation. For transformation leaders, I believed, the most important and first thing to do, is to inspire trust.


Happy transform!! I am still learning and moving towards transformation of myself, to be a better me everyday...and still struggling...along the way, you may get de-motivated, frustrated and was wondering on when will you, be fully transform...don’t worry, enjoy the journey...remember...success is a journey, not a destination!!



Suddenly, I thought of bumble bee...I wish I could transform like that :)