Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Let's choose to be fit and healthy :)

In my life, now is the phase where i have to think about health, about reducing weight so that i wont't be in the obesity category, to be fit, to enable me to run and play without having to face the out-of-breath situation at only the first 2minutes....hmmm....

It is not that before this i did not need to think about reducing weight and stay healthy but before this my life, my schedule is very different. I eat a lot but i remained thin because all the calories were used. But now...i eat a lot, but i do nothing. So the calories were all turned to fat which then turned me to over weight. I have lost the pleasure of eating a lot but did not put on weight. Missed those years...

Ok...enough of the pass....time move on and so do us...we need to move on....and this is what make life interesting...you were given different set of tasks at different time...so you need to once in a while strategize again to fit our conditions...or else life will be bored la kan ;)

I would like to be fit. This is my mission. And this mission is in my dream. Execution wise - failed.

I wondered why it failed. And i say to myself, because i love eating. I don't see ways on aligning the mission and the action. Hence the mission become mission impossible, the version of mission impossible without mr tom C in it...

I've read in Dr Covey book on how a man decided to be healthy....the story goes like this....

I had been working very hard in my career. By the time i turned forty-five, i was quite successful. I was also about sixty pounds overweight, a compulsive eater during times of stress, and one who didn' t have time to exercise regularly because of work. On his fifth birthday, my son, Logan, gave me a book on healthy living. Inside, his mother had helped him write the following words: "Daddy, for my birthday this year, I want you to be healthy. I want you to be around a while". Talk about a punch in the gut..ouch...that plea from my son changed my perspective of my lifestyle completely....

The story above is quite long in Dr Covey's book and i am lazy typing. But this man committed himself to being healthy for his children, not to lose weight but to be healthy. The plea from his son is a strong driver to him to be healthy. So, i need that strong driver too. I need a real purpose, the end in mind of what i wanted from this mission. And in order to stay persistent, i need to remind myself of the purpose and vision again and again...

But yes....what else could be a good driver for you other than your love ones. We need to be healthy for our love ones so that we could go through life with them happily. We can't compromise work and money with health. Working and working while ignoring health will most likely resulted with us spending that money that we earned to cure our unhealthy body. And if we die due to our recklessness in taking care of our body, then we shall have to answer to Allah. So, why choose this option?

No time to exercise? I often gave these reasons.....and well....there are reasons that you can get rid of...if you want to....

The truth is ugly....but yes....we are what we choose to be...We are responsible to our own body....so before its too late....minna san...let's practise healthy life style :)

Sunday, August 26, 2012

12 years

it's been 12 years
thank you Allah for lending me
a wonderful husband
a generous caring best friend
an outstanding soul partner
a fantastic funny team mate
a kind-hearted man

thank you Allah
thank you Allah

but still i wanted to ask for more

let love unite us till we reach Your Jannah
let this love grow stronger with time
grant me strength capability and skills
to be the perfect wife for this great guy
because i am now so greedy ya Allah
i wanted to love and to be love by this man till the end of my life

o Allah....

but still i understood
your plan is the best plan and
hence your plan came fully equipped

thus again thank you Allah...for these lovely 12 years and more years to come...insyaAllah




Friday, August 10, 2012

my little big bunny

i have a little big bunny
she is little but she is big
she is cute like a bunny
she make noises like it was so funny
and when she giggles, my world so sunny

my little big bunny
why are you so big but little
why are so funny and make my world shiny
why you often smiley when the world is crazy
oh my little big bunny
oh my little big bunny

i was always confused with my little big bunny
because she was little but big
she was cute but is not a bunny
she is so funny, smiley and smarty
oh my little big bunny
don't worry
you will always be my baby



Tuesday, July 31, 2012

career?

Recently i have been thinking about quitting job. But it is not about whether i should quit or not but it is about what to do after i quit. What is my plan? Alhamdulillah...i have never thought that these days....the days when i am thinking about my life...about my passion without the element of worry-about-money in it....thank you so much to Allah and my husband for these days....

A few months back, i attended a wedding of my old best friend...she is a phd holder now...and another old best friend...a high rank officer that worked at an oil and gas company at klcc...hmmm....at that time...i am a bit shamed with my current career status...what if i quit my job and my status is housewife...how will it feel....i've been there for a short while and not so sure on whether i am able to carry the title again...will i...after having that housewife status, will still be interested to meet my sophisticated...intellectual friends...or i just stay home and away...to be emotionally protected and safe...

but another part of me...wanting to spend my time...my entire time with my kids and my husband....to live together under one roof and stay closer...like what a family should be, to me.... being far and away with my life partner often make me worries of his condition....and making me felt useless as a life partner...eventhough we have a mutual understanding of why we remain this way and leading this kind of life...but still the ideal case for me...a family should stay under one roof together....

and will giving up my career be fine with me...eventhough i felt ashamed with it but i actually have given up my career...this ladies working world is not for me....and now looking at my life partner's career....i felt proud because i have contributed to the born of another muslim businessman....he got what he wants, successfully...what matters most in having a career is that you love what you do....its your passion...then only it will be call...on top of your career ;) or else it will be call...working for money and money alone...

okay...so come back to me... the aging woman with low career status planning to quit and become a housewife but have houseless skills and still clueless of what to do at the house...hmmm that's me....

when i was at mid valley...we went to a bookstore and i found these books...








hmmm i was thinking....i can write these books....hehehe....i can, of course if i can really focus, consistent and persistence..the missing elements in my life...

no wonder nothing happens....

Monday, July 2, 2012

mirror...mirror...in my heart

i look at the mirror
and with a smile i start the day
and wonder where is he
and next i...check the phone
did he call while i were fast asleep
did he leave a message
if there is none
i wonder again....why didn't he
is he okay....

and my heart beat faster
i am smiling
happy....excited...with tears falling down
seeing him is all i need
hearing him is what i want
hold to him and never let go
is all that i dreamt of

i look at the mirror
and say to myself
i love him
so very much
and wishing for all the best in the world
for him
for the love
that i treasure in my little tiny heart...
for all that matters..
the love is in my heart
forever....unconditional...





Tuesday, June 5, 2012

and they looked and looked again

Yesterday, we went to Rawang. We, the 4A plus mak, abah, Ana and Umar....since it was a one day trip, it was a sort of tiring journey..

My parents don't usually travel with Adibah, hence they often get too excited when Adibah making loud noises or crying. However, with my beloved soul partner, I have no worries..

And Adibah of course will attract people like magnets to see her....so, we often have the situation when people looked at her and looked again with question-mark-like facial expression or sometimes the like-looking-alien facial expression. Either one is fine with us....again we applied the practice-makes-perfect attitude. I guessed it will be the same with me if i don't have a special child. So, it's ok.

Knowing that Adibah is an attraction, we often take time to introduce her to our friends. This introductory package is often conducted by my soul partner. He will decide when we shall took Adibah with us to meet our friends. Usually we shall tell them before hand that we have a special kid and then only we took her with us. This is done just to avoid an overwhelming situation. People will of course asked us why or what happened to her.

So, we shall explain and here goes the script
1) no problem at all during pregnancy
2) after 2 weeks born she start coughing because of the leaking of blood at the heart goes to the lung
3) from there we detected heart failure and other failures and that she is not normal
4) then she had a heart surgery
5) then the other check up that resulted with her having zero vision and zero hearing
6) we tried to go for cochlea implant but not possible as the implant may not work for her due to her nerve issues

These are the stories often told...what i usually don't tell is how we cried when she had to go through heart surgery...how i couldn't stop my tears when she was confirmed blind...heart break when the hearing test resulted with she can't hear even the noise at the highest desibel. Not to mentioned when the doctors put all sort of wires and tubing in and out of her body.....being so scared when she is sick because i don't know why she is sick and what to do....

But alhamdulillah...we were given her plus the strength to survive with her plus the rezki that come with her plus the love that unite us even closer and tigther to each other.

And alhamdulillah....we loved her so much. And even the doctors can't access to her brain, i knew that she is brilliant. She can't see but she knew where and how to move in and out from the bedroom to the living room. She knew we were around near her even though we did not touch her and she will come to us and put her head in our laps. Once i put hankerchief at her neck, she knew it's eating time. And most of all, she is very sincere. If you see her smile that means she is truly happy. Her expression is the truth.

When we were on our way back from Rawang, we stopped for solat at Tapah. At the praying room, there was a grandma resting. I then quickly performed solat and Adibah also quickly went to tempat ambil air sembahyang. It's like she knew that there's water there and making a fuss like asking me to change her diaper. The grandma was worried that Adibah was already ready to play with the water. She then asked about Adibah and as usual i told the same story. Earlier, when telling others about Adibah, i can't stop myself from crying. Tears will automatically falls....but again practice makes perfect...now i can do the story telling without tears or tears will be just in my eyes and in my heart.

Adibah had survived all these years and so does the family. She brings joy to the family. When we travelled with her or doing the intoductory package with our friends, we encountered many type of reactions. Some pity her and us and some congratulate us. Of course i would prefer the latter one....

No matter how others see her, to us,she is our daughter and so deserved to be love and treated like any other daughter. She may not see, so we shall be her eyes. She may not hear but we shall speak to her like she can hear us. Her growth may be delay, so we shall stay young with her.

This is our family and like any other family, we shall love and support each other in joy and in pain ;)


Friday, June 1, 2012

the vow

i vow to help you love life
to always hold you tenderness
and to have patience that love demands
to speak when words are needed
and to share the silence when they're not
to agree to disagree on red velvet cake
and to live long in your heart and always call it home

i officially love you
in all your forms
now and forever
promise to never forget
and this is once in a life time love
and knowing in deepest part of our soul
that no matter what that may tear us apart
we will always find our way back to each other