Often, very often in this blog, I wrote about my daughter, Nurul Adibah. Very seldom or may be none, I write something on Muhammad Afiq, my beloved son. I have read an article that says something like this “to those parents who had a special child, don’t neglect your normal child because very often all the parents’ attentions goes to the special child...”
It’s very true. Sometimes you were just too busy taking care of the special one and forgot that...oh mine....there’s another one, peeping at the door, wanting to say something and having the impression like….hey mama, I’m your child too…..Afiq sacrificed a lot too…especially for the first 2 years after Adibah was born, because Adibah is always sick and have to be admitted to the hospital. And whenever she’s in, I’m staying too, of course….sometimes for almost 2 weeks. And Afiq kept calling and asked the same question, when will we be back...I think he already get used to it…I hope he does. I hope he understood the whole situation, even though he is just a kid.....
Afiq, my beloved son, is kind of a slow, sentimental person. When he was younger, me and my husband were so worried on whether his brain was kind of slow too…. He is just a kid, but it seems like his taking some time to think first before he does something. Kids don’t think much especially boys. Their level of maturity development is slower than girls. They just do whatever they like. But Afiq is totally different.
There are times when he refused to play outside. I was thinking that may be this circumstance appeared because he wanted to get deep into the play station. But I was wrong. He then explained that he dislike the way of our neighbors treated the children. I was aware of this situation, these kind-of-neighbors but was unaware that it affected Afiq’s action. There’s an uncle that often yelled to the kids, yelling the negative words...I do not wish to explain further....He is old and should be a good behavior model, or at least just be nice and saying positive, good things, but unfortunately, he is not...And there’s one aunty that are too defensive of her grandchild. She like forcing the neighborhood kids to play with his grandchildren, or else, she will scold them. She did not try to understand of why the kids did not want to play with her grandchild...and hence, Afiq made a decision to not play outside.
And when Afiq is about 5 years, he complained that there’s a kid that always like to punch him. So, I was saying, then why don’t you punched him back (I was not sure on whether I was giving a correct advise but to me this is called self defense :)). And Afiq replied back, are you angry if someone hit me? Then I said, yes of course. Then, he said, so if he punch the boy and the boy’s parent saw it, they will be angry too isn’t? Hmmmm.... have to think first before saying anything.....then, I said “ you should told the boy’s parents that he punched you first"...
Simultaneously, I was thinking, is my child normal? Doesn’t seems like he is thinking too much before taking any action which is not so normal for a kid at 5 years old? I then draw a conclusion that my son is under the sentimental category and very attentive to his environment....hmmmmm
Other than that, like other kids, Afiq also did ask a lot of questions like how to produce babies? How do we get electricity? What is rape? Why the colours of human are different? He is referring to so-white-skin-people and so-black skin-people. Why there are many religions? And so many related and interrelated questions...
And because he is such a “hardworking” student, he also often asked on why he has to go to school and why schooling is 5 days and not-schooling is 2 days? You see....having kids are not that simple. It’s complicated actually...
The book on parenthood that I’ve read are right, when you explained to your child, explain to him the right, correct answer... the truth... Although they are just kids, do not underestimate them because they can understand it in their own way. Hence, when I explained to Afiq on Adibah’s condition, just one time of explanation, he can understood it and accepted it with no further question ask.
Looking at him, cuddling Adibah and kissing her and saying that she is so cute often light up my day. He loves her as much as we do…..
Recently, Afiq always asked on whether he is going to get another younger brother or sister. Then I replied, what if abah get marry with another woman and then have kids. So, automatically, Afiq will have younger brother and sister. Afiq then replied, but if this occurred, won’t you be sad? “Afiq tak nak mama sedih…”
Syukur Alhamdullilah.....I have a hero ;)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Nice guy finish last
A few years back, when I was in Japan for training, I met this one guy, one very shy quiet guy. I went there for training. We used to communicate through email before my visit to Japan. Because we are in the same department, when I was in Japan, he kind of having the obligation to entertain me.....so I have to follow him here and there in the company. For the fact, he is tall, in term of look = not so good looking, kind of a nerd, polite although not much words coming out from his mouth (since he did not talk much, this polite adjective is based on the way he treated you, in a very good-manner with respect), single and he has a nice car :) of course, Japan’s car is very nice....
One day, I have to go through an equipment training with him. Oh my god, it was so boring. Although he had tried his best to make sure I did not fall asleep....and I was yawning at the rate of twice per minute. I was doing that deliberately so that he stopped talking and the session ended quickly. However this body language, did not work, because he still continue to talk.....( I guessed he never use body language before.....)
I then looked at his face...I was stunned and amazed because I just realised that he, actually can talk. Since I met him, he only talked to me about 10 sentences a day. I thought that this was because of the language barrier. My interpretation is wrong.....
The way he talked about the machine illustrating his deep passion and enthusiasm towards that equipment as if he had slept with it. Asked him anything about that machine, he can explain to you from A to Z, inside and outside. He is so technically sound. As for me, only by mentioning the word equipment and technical, can frightened me. I then at that very specific moment discovered that I am certainly not in love with machines and all the related technical things on machines. I can understand it, but to love it, to sleep with it, talking to it.... that is just not me.
For example, a person like me, given a machine called car. I only know how to run this application so that it can move me from this dot to that dot. And the basic function on how to make it move, like refuelling. Other than that, I don’t know and I just don’t want to know ( I often get scolded by my sister for this......).
Okay, come back to that Japanese guy. Usually after work, we will go for dinner. After dinner, this guy will have the task to send me home. Thus, this is the moment when I was alone with him. Since he did not talk much, other that talking about machine, I was doing all the talking and questioning and he only answered. I asked him about his life, what he does after work and bla...bla..bla.....Trust me, you would never want to hear of his routine, it is so black and white until I wonder whether he is a man or machine....I seriously, honestly think, he should get more colours, he should get married.
Earlier that week, when we went and played bowling, I observed that there are many girls. So, there is no reason of not getting a girl because there are many. And this Japanese guy, don’t really talked to girls.....So, girls don’t talk to him too. As a result, there is not much conversation with the opposite sex. In addition to this, this Japanese guy, even after drinking wine can still control himself. He doesn’t go after girls even after he is drunk. Could he be not normal? That is out of question. The main point is that, he is in a very good controlled of himself, may be too good until he can’t seem to let loose of himself, he is very shy and may be with a little bit of low self esteem when it comes to girls. If he can master the girls like he master the equipment, he would certainly become a Casanova despite of his look. Girls don’t really go for looks only, this is a fact.
What I would like to express here is.......
Guys can’t be too shy. Guys should be the one to approach girls. Guys should be brave, strong, with high courage and of course fight for their love.
If a guy is interested with a girl, then he should start giving signals. Once the girl, giving a positive feedback, the guy should not wait any longer but straight away making an attempt to tackle the girl. I understood that when it comes to girls, guys used to have a skyrocket ego......But come on..... You can’t have babies with your ego. So, think wisely......
Giving a try to tackle a girl won’t make you a simpleton. Even if you are rejected, that simply means you are not reading the signals correctly or the girls did not give the correct signals....So what? It is not the end the world. Take it as a lesson and try again. That’s what we do, practice makes perfect. And come on, you are a guy, meaning, you can’t be too delicate and vulnerable. It does not fit the image of a normal-healthy-man.
Unfortunately, plus with a self-denial statement, a guy would say, I don’t need a woman. No woman, no cry......well, I don’t think I need to further elaborate this. We are designed by the Creator to have the tendency to fulfil our needs as human. So, why choose to go against the principle?? You’ll never win.....
Therefore, hurry up..... It is always not too late to learn and try.....come on guys, let’s get the ball rolling :)
AYu
One day, I have to go through an equipment training with him. Oh my god, it was so boring. Although he had tried his best to make sure I did not fall asleep....and I was yawning at the rate of twice per minute. I was doing that deliberately so that he stopped talking and the session ended quickly. However this body language, did not work, because he still continue to talk.....( I guessed he never use body language before.....)
I then looked at his face...I was stunned and amazed because I just realised that he, actually can talk. Since I met him, he only talked to me about 10 sentences a day. I thought that this was because of the language barrier. My interpretation is wrong.....
The way he talked about the machine illustrating his deep passion and enthusiasm towards that equipment as if he had slept with it. Asked him anything about that machine, he can explain to you from A to Z, inside and outside. He is so technically sound. As for me, only by mentioning the word equipment and technical, can frightened me. I then at that very specific moment discovered that I am certainly not in love with machines and all the related technical things on machines. I can understand it, but to love it, to sleep with it, talking to it.... that is just not me.
For example, a person like me, given a machine called car. I only know how to run this application so that it can move me from this dot to that dot. And the basic function on how to make it move, like refuelling. Other than that, I don’t know and I just don’t want to know ( I often get scolded by my sister for this......).
Okay, come back to that Japanese guy. Usually after work, we will go for dinner. After dinner, this guy will have the task to send me home. Thus, this is the moment when I was alone with him. Since he did not talk much, other that talking about machine, I was doing all the talking and questioning and he only answered. I asked him about his life, what he does after work and bla...bla..bla.....Trust me, you would never want to hear of his routine, it is so black and white until I wonder whether he is a man or machine....I seriously, honestly think, he should get more colours, he should get married.
Earlier that week, when we went and played bowling, I observed that there are many girls. So, there is no reason of not getting a girl because there are many. And this Japanese guy, don’t really talked to girls.....So, girls don’t talk to him too. As a result, there is not much conversation with the opposite sex. In addition to this, this Japanese guy, even after drinking wine can still control himself. He doesn’t go after girls even after he is drunk. Could he be not normal? That is out of question. The main point is that, he is in a very good controlled of himself, may be too good until he can’t seem to let loose of himself, he is very shy and may be with a little bit of low self esteem when it comes to girls. If he can master the girls like he master the equipment, he would certainly become a Casanova despite of his look. Girls don’t really go for looks only, this is a fact.
What I would like to express here is.......
Guys can’t be too shy. Guys should be the one to approach girls. Guys should be brave, strong, with high courage and of course fight for their love.
If a guy is interested with a girl, then he should start giving signals. Once the girl, giving a positive feedback, the guy should not wait any longer but straight away making an attempt to tackle the girl. I understood that when it comes to girls, guys used to have a skyrocket ego......But come on..... You can’t have babies with your ego. So, think wisely......
Giving a try to tackle a girl won’t make you a simpleton. Even if you are rejected, that simply means you are not reading the signals correctly or the girls did not give the correct signals....So what? It is not the end the world. Take it as a lesson and try again. That’s what we do, practice makes perfect. And come on, you are a guy, meaning, you can’t be too delicate and vulnerable. It does not fit the image of a normal-healthy-man.
Unfortunately, plus with a self-denial statement, a guy would say, I don’t need a woman. No woman, no cry......well, I don’t think I need to further elaborate this. We are designed by the Creator to have the tendency to fulfil our needs as human. So, why choose to go against the principle?? You’ll never win.....
Therefore, hurry up..... It is always not too late to learn and try.....come on guys, let’s get the ball rolling :)
AYu
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
For my lil sis......Happy Birthday!!
Dear lil sis,
First and foremost, Happy Birthday! If you asked me for my wish for you, I wished for all your wishes and dreams came true, millions and countless of happiness for you to share with your loved ones, all your sadness been washed away by the falling rain and of course, all your disappointments and despair gone, in a blink of eye.
On your birthday, it often reminds me of the years that had gone by, the moments that we shared, the people that we loved and lost. And thinking of these moments often made me sad and sorry for myself and for you. I am so sorry my lil sis for not being a good sister and very far away from being a wonderful sister. I, sometimes thought to myself, have I ever been a sister to you and fulfilling the function of a sister, performing my task and responsibility as a sister or at least being a friend to you.
I can’t even count with my fingers, of me being nice and good to you as a sister. All that I can remembered is seeing myself scolding and being angry with you. And I felt even worst as I remembered you of not even a moment, a minute, raising your voice towards me. All that I remembered was you with the image of respecting me and obeying me as a big sis.
I remembered a day during Hari Raya when mom made us baju kurung, green colour with black polka dot. I was so angry with mom for having you and me wearing the same baju kurung. I really hated it and threw my frustration towards you although at that moment, you were still very young..... You must have been thinking, what is wrong with me....I wonder too.....forgive me for being a cruel, heartless sister....you knew me, I was always so stubborn and aggressive....hmmmmm the typical me...
Then, time flies. You and I were teenagers. I was closer to my friends than you. There are many things that I don’t know or don’t even care about you. I was busy entertaining my life. The life that I always wanted, away from our difficult life. I get so carried away and I’m really sorry if in those days, you felt like you never exist in my life. I am sorry lil sis for being so selfish and let you carry the burden of our life alone. You and mom often shared many things and sometimes I did felt jealous when mom knew more than me about you but still being me, the one so independent, repulsive, rebellious and deciding my life as I want it to be without referring to you and mom, I just don’t care much and wanted so much to be free.
But still, despite of all those years, despite of all the things that I’ve done, you were always loyal to me. You were always there for me when I needed you. You were always the one volunteered to take care of me when I was in pain. You were always there for me. You were always the one that I can count on. Thinking of this made me felt so lucky, so thankful, so grateful that I have you as my sister.
And at the same time, often made me felt bad, ashamed of myself for being such as useless sister, always not being able to be with you when you were in pain, in sadness, alone. I was never a shoulder for you to cry on. I was never there for you.......
My lil sis,
For that.....
for all those moments that I was not being like a sister to you but more like a step sister....
for all those years of pain and burden of the family that you have had on your shoulder alone....
for all those tears that you quietly wept at night.....
I am truly sorry......
I can’t turn back time....
I can’t fix those years, those moment of sadness....
I can’t repair your broken heart....
I won’t be able to do all these.
All that I can say..... I am here now. I want to be your shoulder to cry one. I want to share your joy, your happiness, your sadness. I want to be a wonderful sister. Let’s cherish our life together, let’s make things happened and enjoy every moments......
My lil sis,
Again, happy birthday! And I am your birthday present, a sister that would like to devote herself, heart and soul to take care of her lil sis.....InsyaAllah....
AYu
First and foremost, Happy Birthday! If you asked me for my wish for you, I wished for all your wishes and dreams came true, millions and countless of happiness for you to share with your loved ones, all your sadness been washed away by the falling rain and of course, all your disappointments and despair gone, in a blink of eye.
On your birthday, it often reminds me of the years that had gone by, the moments that we shared, the people that we loved and lost. And thinking of these moments often made me sad and sorry for myself and for you. I am so sorry my lil sis for not being a good sister and very far away from being a wonderful sister. I, sometimes thought to myself, have I ever been a sister to you and fulfilling the function of a sister, performing my task and responsibility as a sister or at least being a friend to you.
I can’t even count with my fingers, of me being nice and good to you as a sister. All that I can remembered is seeing myself scolding and being angry with you. And I felt even worst as I remembered you of not even a moment, a minute, raising your voice towards me. All that I remembered was you with the image of respecting me and obeying me as a big sis.
I remembered a day during Hari Raya when mom made us baju kurung, green colour with black polka dot. I was so angry with mom for having you and me wearing the same baju kurung. I really hated it and threw my frustration towards you although at that moment, you were still very young..... You must have been thinking, what is wrong with me....I wonder too.....forgive me for being a cruel, heartless sister....you knew me, I was always so stubborn and aggressive....hmmmmm the typical me...
Then, time flies. You and I were teenagers. I was closer to my friends than you. There are many things that I don’t know or don’t even care about you. I was busy entertaining my life. The life that I always wanted, away from our difficult life. I get so carried away and I’m really sorry if in those days, you felt like you never exist in my life. I am sorry lil sis for being so selfish and let you carry the burden of our life alone. You and mom often shared many things and sometimes I did felt jealous when mom knew more than me about you but still being me, the one so independent, repulsive, rebellious and deciding my life as I want it to be without referring to you and mom, I just don’t care much and wanted so much to be free.
But still, despite of all those years, despite of all the things that I’ve done, you were always loyal to me. You were always there for me when I needed you. You were always the one volunteered to take care of me when I was in pain. You were always there for me. You were always the one that I can count on. Thinking of this made me felt so lucky, so thankful, so grateful that I have you as my sister.
And at the same time, often made me felt bad, ashamed of myself for being such as useless sister, always not being able to be with you when you were in pain, in sadness, alone. I was never a shoulder for you to cry on. I was never there for you.......
My lil sis,
For that.....
for all those moments that I was not being like a sister to you but more like a step sister....
for all those years of pain and burden of the family that you have had on your shoulder alone....
for all those tears that you quietly wept at night.....
I am truly sorry......
I can’t turn back time....
I can’t fix those years, those moment of sadness....
I can’t repair your broken heart....
I won’t be able to do all these.
All that I can say..... I am here now. I want to be your shoulder to cry one. I want to share your joy, your happiness, your sadness. I want to be a wonderful sister. Let’s cherish our life together, let’s make things happened and enjoy every moments......
My lil sis,
Again, happy birthday! And I am your birthday present, a sister that would like to devote herself, heart and soul to take care of her lil sis.....InsyaAllah....
AYu
Just take my heart
It's late at night and neither one of us is sleeping
I can't imagine living my life after you're gone
Wondering why so many questions have no answers
I keep on searching for the reason why we went wrong
Where is our yesterday
You and I could use it right now
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Here we are about to take the final step now
I just can't fool myself, I know there's no turing back
Face to face it's been endless conversation
But when the love is gone you're left with nothing but talk
I'd give my everything
If only I could turn you around
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Mr Big - Just take my heart
I can't imagine living my life after you're gone
Wondering why so many questions have no answers
I keep on searching for the reason why we went wrong
Where is our yesterday
You and I could use it right now
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Here we are about to take the final step now
I just can't fool myself, I know there's no turing back
Face to face it's been endless conversation
But when the love is gone you're left with nothing but talk
I'd give my everything
If only I could turn you around
But if this is goodbye
Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go
Mr Big - Just take my heart
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