Muhammad Afiq Md Ashraf

Often, very often in this blog, I wrote about my daughter, Nurul Adibah. Very seldom or may be none, I write something on Muhammad Afiq, my beloved son. I have read an article that says something like this “to those parents who had a special child, don’t neglect your normal child because very often all the parents’ attentions goes to the special child...”

It’s very true. Sometimes you were just too busy taking care of the special one and forgot that...oh mine....there’s another one, peeping at the door, wanting to say something and having the impression like….hey mama, I’m your child too…..Afiq sacrificed a lot too…especially for the first 2 years after Adibah was born, because Adibah is always sick and have to be admitted to the hospital. And whenever she’s in, I’m staying too, of course….sometimes for almost 2 weeks. And Afiq kept calling and asked the same question, when will we be back...I think he already get used to it…I hope he does. I hope he understood the whole situation, even though he is just a kid.....

Afiq, my beloved son, is kind of a slow, sentimental person. When he was younger, me and my husband were so worried on whether his brain was kind of slow too…. He is just a kid, but it seems like his taking some time to think first before he does something. Kids don’t think much especially boys. Their level of maturity development is slower than girls. They just do whatever they like. But Afiq is totally different.

There are times when he refused to play outside. I was thinking that may be this circumstance appeared because he wanted to get deep into the play station. But I was wrong. He then explained that he dislike the way of our neighbors treated the children. I was aware of this situation, these kind-of-neighbors but was unaware that it affected Afiq’s action. There’s an uncle that often yelled to the kids, yelling the negative words...I do not wish to explain further....He is old and should be a good behavior model, or at least just be nice and saying positive, good things, but unfortunately, he is not...And there’s one aunty that are too defensive of her grandchild. She like forcing the neighborhood kids to play with his grandchildren, or else, she will scold them. She did not try to understand of why the kids did not want to play with her grandchild...and hence, Afiq made a decision to not play outside.

And when Afiq is about 5 years, he complained that there’s a kid that always like to punch him. So, I was saying, then why don’t you punched him back (I was not sure on whether I was giving a correct advise but to me this is called self defense :)). And Afiq replied back, are you angry if someone hit me? Then I said, yes of course. Then, he said, so if he punch the boy and the boy’s parent saw it, they will be angry too isn’t? Hmmmm.... have to think first before saying anything.....then, I said “ you should told the boy’s parents that he punched you first"...

Simultaneously, I was thinking, is my child normal? Doesn’t seems like he is thinking too much before taking any action which is not so normal for a kid at 5 years old? I then draw a conclusion that my son is under the sentimental category and very attentive to his environment....hmmmmm

Other than that, like other kids, Afiq also did ask a lot of questions like how to produce babies? How do we get electricity? What is rape? Why the colours of human are different? He is referring to so-white-skin-people and so-black skin-people. Why there are many religions? And so many related and interrelated questions...

And because he is such a “hardworking” student, he also often asked on why he has to go to school and why schooling is 5 days and not-schooling is 2 days? You see....having kids are not that simple. It’s complicated actually...

The book on parenthood that I’ve read are right, when you explained to your child, explain to him the right, correct answer... the truth... Although they are just kids, do not underestimate them because they can understand it in their own way. Hence, when I explained to Afiq on Adibah’s condition, just one time of explanation, he can understood it and accepted it with no further question ask.

Looking at him, cuddling Adibah and kissing her and saying that she is so cute often light up my day. He loves her as much as we do…..

Recently, Afiq always asked on whether he is going to get another younger brother or sister. Then I replied, what if abah get marry with another woman and then have kids. So, automatically, Afiq will have younger brother and sister. Afiq then replied, but if this occurred, won’t you be sad? “Afiq tak nak mama sedih…”
Syukur Alhamdullilah.....I have a hero ;)