Memories and me and mom

When I was 10, all I wanted was the Luna pencil colours, 24pcs. I was crying at my mom for the colours when I saw the advertisement in the newspaper. I was crying and making noises, begging my mom to buy that colours. After a day of tears, all I got was a 12pcs colour with no brand, not Luna…. Cap ayam .... I, then, felt so disappointed and hence, continue crying until my father get mad at me.

Till the end, I still, not getting what I want …..At that moment, I don’t really understand on why that simple request is not fulfilled by my parents. It is just a Luna pencil colours, 24pcs. And all my friends in the school are using that Luna colours, not the 24pcs, but the 36pcs. So, I really could not understand….

When I grew bigger, older, a little bit wiser, I started to understand….how difficult our life is, and how tough my mom has to struggle, to give me and my siblings, the best of everything. I started to realize of how easy to request for money but how not easy to earn money. Mom was doing a lot of jobs at the house to earn money, from washing clothes at the neighbors’ house until selling kuih at the nearby stall. There’s a time when it is almost hari raya, and I don’t have baju raya. Once mom got money, just 2 or 3 days before raya, she bought the material and stay up late at night to make me a baju kurung….I was so touched….

And at that time, of course, we don’t have a car. Just a motorcycle that my father uses to go to work everyday. That motorcycle was an old motorcycle. We used that motorcycle to visit Opah too. That is our jalan-jalan, to Opah’s house. There is no such thing as jalan-jalan to supermarket or to watch movie or to McDonalds….….Jalan-jalan means to Opah’s house….Me at the front of the motorcycle and my brother in the middle. And when it’s raining, we are all wet :)

Today, when I saw a family with 2 kids riding a motorcycle, I didn’t blame the parents for putting their child safety at stake because they knew it is dangerous and they would of course buy a car if they can afford it….I can understand that based on my own experience :) but riding the motorcycle is fun especially if you sit in front....banyak angin :)

I grew in a not-so-easy-living-environment, but Alhamdullilah, still growing :) and it feels good knowing that you have grown up and you have learn a lot from life and you have all these memories with you :)

sweet memories (when I often got presents from the schools at the end-of-year- school- concert and when I first ate McDonalds, Hezrin belanja, I was in form 2 may be at that time)

not-so-sweet–memories (when I was walking from the flat to the bus station and then fall down at the back, meaning my face was looking up to the sky, like the turtle turn upside down, because I was running and the bag was so heavy and I was so tiny compared to the school bag :))

sour (when I got beaten by mom with penyapu)

bitter (when I fight with abah….ehmmm that is quite often because I am a trouble maker :))

Thinking of all these, makes me misses mom so much. Even though there are many things that I did not agree with her, she is not like what I want her to be, she is not a really good model, and she love my brother more that me…..but still I love her anyway……

AYu