I have abandoned this blog

Today, I felt lazy, bored and wondering what it's like if this is my
last day working with this company. Today, is my friend's last day here.
And today when I woke up in the morning, the first thing that came into
my mind is how do I felt if I were in my friend's shoes. Wondering, when
would be my last day.......

I believed, I need to go out too, I need to see new environment, see new
peoples, do new things....after 7 years, I am exhausted, not because of
the work but because of the environment may be...so in order to move on,
I need to tender my resignation and get out from here.

But that does not come in soon, as I have a lot of other obstacles
before I can make that 1 decision that may help to change my entire
life.

Anyway, life goes on, so I need to think of how to make my life a lot
interesting, exciting?? And life is about making choices...so, what am I
doing here?

Regards,
Rahayu

My lovely Adibah

I really like this photo of Adibah because she's looking at the camera, making her looks like a normal kid. It is very difficult to get her to look at the camera, of course she's blind. Anyway, really loves the photo and loves Adibah very much, of course. The world may not be for her, but paradise is a gurantee for her.

Jejaka Idaman Malaya

The photo of 2 jejaka Idaman Malaya :-)

A walk in the cloud

A walk in the cloud

 

Emmm....lately I've been very busy, with work especially....no more time to spend on the blog. Anyway, last week, when I was at home at night watching TV, I've bump into a movie title "A walk in a cloud", Keanu Reeves is the actor. Hmmm the title sounds familiar....Then suddenly I've remembered, it was, more then 10 years ago, when I was in the first year in UTM. We have to attend English class and in this English class, we have buddy. This buddy functioned as a person that will listen to what we called as short essay that we used to write in the class. It was fun because I have Haresh as my buddy and he was handsome too.....

 

But then Haresh has to leave UTM, to a new college somewhere is KL area. After he left UTM, for a first few month we still keep in touch and one day we go out for a date. Hahahaha....I couldn't imagine going out with someone like Haresh, but then I did. And we watch movie...I wanted to watch "a walk in the cloud" but Haresh said he did not like that movie. Actually I did not know that movie is about what and I only know that Keanu Reeves is in that movie. So, on that day, we did not watched Keanu Reeves but we watched another movie that I can't remembered what the title is…..

 

The ironic thing is, after more then 10 years, I finally got a chance to watch that movie. And that night, I’ve watched “A walk in the cloud” till to the end. I hope one day I’ll meet Haresh, but I don’t think we will recognize each other, since we’re not so close in those old days and of course many things have changed since we last met. Anyway, I still hope that when we meet each other one day, we will knew each other or at least feels it in the heart J

 

 

Regards,

Rahayu

 

Over stress :-(

 

Recently, I was over stressed. Nurul Adibah's health is not so good and as usual I was so worried until I got sick. I can control myself when it comes to other things but when it is about my children health, my worries level increased to an alarming level, to the level that I can't control. It looks like my stress level depends on my children health level. Hmmm it is not good when your body condition rely on a factor that you can't control or may be difficult to control, like health issues. May be I often felt like I've already try my best to take care of them, but still they fall sick. So, it is about frustration too.

 

Anyway, I am glad that they recovered, Alhamdullillah. This is only a bit, small test from Allah S.A.W and it seems like I couldn't handle it.....Hah What if there's bigger, challenging test????

 

 

 

Nothing else matters

I really love this song, especially at the part “Forever trusting who we are and nothing else matter”. I think this is very true. Yeah, if you believed in yourself, fix your stand and hold it tight, then what others said does not matter anymore. Because sometimes, we cared so much for what others have to say, till we abandoned our own rights, feelings and do the things to please others but deep inside we’re suffering. But provided the things that you do is the right things lah….if not you’ll be known as someone called “bodoh sombong”.

 

Anyway, really love the song!!

 

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

and nothing else matters

 

Never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way

All these words I don't just say

and nothing else matters

 

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us something new

Open mind for a different view

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

but I know

 

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

but I know

 

Never opened myself this way

Life is ours, we live it our way

All these words I don't just say

 

Trust I seek and I find in you

Every day for us, something new

Open mind for a different view

and nothing else matters

 

never cared for what they say

never cared for games they play

never cared for what they do

never cared for what they know

and I know

 

So close, no matter how far

Couldn't be much more from the heart

Forever trusting who we are

No, nothing else matters

 

Redha

I almost cried when I was on my way to work last Monday. I felt clueless, bored, hate myself for having to do the same routine every Monday to Friday. Furthermore, I felt like my current job is not a value-added job, not interesting and blah blah blah....(all the grievances).

Life is about making choices, so why am I here, why do I have to come to work? I keep on questioning myself as though I did know the answers. I knew the answers. I, precisely, deeply knew all the answers and I am fully aware...

Remember that Milli Vanilli (do I get the name correct?) song?

Blame it on the rain yeah yeah...whatever you do, don't put the blame on you...just blame it on the rain yeah yeah....

Something wrong with the lyrics but don't bother, the main point is "blame it on the rain". Although I fully understand and aware why I am here, why I have to do the routine job, still I blame it on the rain and not myself instead. Hahaha….as if the rain running my life :-( The “rain” here is my job. I blame it on my job and not me myself. Hmmmm…..sounds familiar? It is often and very easy for you to blame on others instead of yourself, although the main actor here is you. Yes, under certain circumstances “others” are applicable but a lot of time, is only “you”. You have to be responsible for the things that you have chosen. You are responsible on your own life; of course, this is common sense. But I felt, along the way in life, the common sense seems to be drifted, left behind.

And that is what happened to me on last Monday morning. I knew, I have a dream and my lifepartner have the same dream. We have common goals and we are heading towards it. We plan, we put effort and Allah S.A.W will then decide what is best for us. And when we “redha” with what He has decided best for us, nothing else will matter!!