The Climb

I recognized myself as a positive, self-motivated person. In everything that I do, I knew my targets, I knew what I wanted to achieve, I knew which direction to follow, and I am certainly able to visualize the vision. I am able to pick a paradigm, to see through a different angle of view and thus, stay positive. Hold tight to what I believe...

Therefore, with this credibility, it is always wasn’t hard for me to make decision for I knew that life is about making choices. Thus, ones need to be brave to make decision and need to be brave to face the consequences of every decision made. For making that decision is our task, moving through the accomplishment of that decision is our task and the results, leave it to the Authorized...

I have made a big decision that has changed my life and the life of the peoples around me…and with the decision, I have obtained an opportunity. I viewed and accepted the opportunity as a golden opportunity and I am just grateful to have obtained it. I am certain that the opportunity was given to me so that I am able to make full use of the potentials in me for the benefit, for the advantages of the peoples around me, especially for the Malays……Thus, I am so highly motivated to move towards the vision that I had for this new group of peoples that I joined.
At the point of joining this group of peoples, I am so enthusiastic, so energetic, positive....

After a few days, I discovered that I am in such a negative aura environment. It is so negative, that it somehow, neutralized my “positiveness”…… however, being a determine person, supported with the encouragements from my love ones, with the hope from those who relies on me, I stand still, fighting the negative charges, building up my courage and hence, I manage to remove the dark clouds that has avoiding me from clearly see my visions. Therefore, I still manage to climb further……even though I knew the climb was not an easy one, as the mountain is so high and there’s no route, no trail, thus, I have to create the route, the trail….but still I am determine, that the vision can be realized. And so confident that a person can make a different...

After a few months, I found myself exhausted, only at a few meter from the ground, and even worse….my visions blurred….I can’t see the top of the mountain anymore. I don’t know which way to go, I am confuse of the purpose of the climb. I can’t visualize myself being on top of the mountain, and leading the group of people that I care about with me, to the top of the mountain, towards the great accomplishment, the journey of a lifetime. I doubted my credibility, I doubted on my capability, capacity to lead the way, to help the group of people move away from the usual, too comfort, non-beneficial, selfish environment of the ground that they used to be, towards the top of the mountains where the new era begins……am I too confident, that I have forgotten to check on my capability? Forgotten to evaluate on the readiness of my group to transform from a normal non-athletic people to a great climber?

And now, I am down, confuse, almost negative. I doubted whether the vision can be realized…I am finding myself moving around in circles instead of climbing upwards. And I am no longer confident that I am able to unleash all my potentials for the benefit of myself and the peoples around me….What should I do??? I am no longer assured that a person can make a different and that a tiny group of high hope people can give a significant impact to a big organization....

I have a great vision of me and my group achieving great things. And with this vision, I continued the climb, creating the trail, everyday…. But now, if I can no longer see the vision or at least feel it deep in my heart, how am I suppose to reach it, to realize it?

Should I just be like most of them, be normal? Just stay where you are, doing nothing or doing very minimum and at the end of every month, get pay and enjoy. Don’t think of others, don’t think of the nation, be selfish.

I wish I can be like them…..but still I am not sure if I’m happy….I don’t get the idea on how being selfish, just thinking about yourself will make you happy.

Thus, coming back to the basic, life is about making choices…..should I abandoned the great vision that I have for me and for this group and start looking for other opportunity and creating new visions with new environment, new peoples? Or should I stay, move backward 1 step, re-evaluate, redefine the targets, sharpen the saw, renew the method and then continue back the climb and have strong faith that we shall successfully reach the top of the mountain……

Hmmmmm......

Ayu