Friday, December 30, 2011

Am I your best friend? BFF?

Did you sometimes wondered, who is your best friend? Or do you have best friend? Or are you someone’s best friend? I wondered of these sometimes...I used to have best friends during the school years, university years...used to...these friends that I considered as my best friends are in my facebook friend list... But I guessed those years are over...Is it distance? Or is it time constraint? No phone calls? No meetings? Leading to the changes in status from best friends to just friends.

Yeah...we need to move on. Peoples changes, life changes, and of course best friends changes too...I treasured my best friends, the precious moments spent and I am so sorry for myself for we are no longer in that terms, best friends. I wished I would have all of my best friends once again but I am certain that it is impossible since I am also not able to commit as a best friends. It is just unfair to only want something, knowing that you are not willing to give, only wanting...

Now, my only best friend is my husband. I have him only. I am assured that I have him only as my best friends because I commit myself to it. I devoted my life to it. So, I am proudly recognizing myself as his best friend. I do have other friends, my lovely officemates. However, I dare not said that I am their best friend because I am certain that I am not. Best friends are those who stay with you in joy and in pain. Best friends support you in any decisions that you made. Best friends be there for you as a shoulder to cry on, as somebody next to you when you needed companion most. Even with great indulgence, I just couldn’t bring myself to that term with my current friends, even if I want to, because I just knew that I can’t commit to it. I can’t give, so, I do not have the rights to want it.

Therefore, I can only now afford to commit to a best friend, my husband. I guessed most wife have the same feelings, the same understanding, the husband is the best friends, no secrets in the closet, transparent 100%. But what if, your husband did not consider you as best friend. What if he has this sort of thinking, not everything you can tell to a woman. Or, woman no need to know everything, the less they knew, the better. As long as they knew you love them, that’s it, no 100% disclosure is necessary.

To me, even though I am my husband best friend, I committed to that terms, I knew that I can’t force him to take me as his best friend and hence, treated me as a best friend. He is another individual that has his own way of thinking, has his own values, has his own paradigm. So, he is fully capable of deciding who is his best friend. Best friend share everything, no secrets, you are able to speak your mind and knowing that the other person will have the right words to say to you. Of course being a wife may entitle you to ask where he has been to, with whom he spent his time with. But being a best friend, will entitle you to be told without asking.

I am a wife. But I don’t want to be only wife, I want to be a best friend to my husband. I don’t want to ask, I want to be told or everything and anything. Yes, giving this commitment and hopes, if I am still not a best friend to my husband, and still, if he keeps secrets in his closet, I would be sad, of course... but I wouldn’t blame him. For I knew it took a great deal of trust to be telling a person about everything underneath your skin.

Therefore, I will not force, but I will inspire...I will be a best friend without asking anything in return...

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend....